Doing my head in!

So we have just finished an enjoyable (NOT!) bedtime! I am just so tired and had enough and sick of it all and I don't know what to do and I am sick of burdening my Mum with all my problems and DH and I don't know what to do next *takes a breath*

First problem, Jack has never been a good sleeper, partly my fault I think initially and partly just the way he is. He has never self settled except for a few month early last year but even then he would call out and we would go in briefly a half dozen times before he went to sleep. He just seems to have really trouble winding down and going to sleep, he fights sleep as hard as he can no matter what we do in our bedtime routine.
Not long after Ben was born Jack started sleeping in our bed and it was easy at the time, but we weaned that a little while ago and that was pretty easy although he still wakes at least twice each night (plus Ben wakes twice a night *yawn*).
Then I was having to hold his hand while he went to sleep which was OK for a while. After some hard work about a month ago I weaned him from that but I still had to walk past his door (it's open) all the time so he could see me. However over NY while we were away I had to sit with him again due to many factors incl Ben trying to sleep in the same room. Now it is even worse than before, he cries all the time and wants us to hold his hand, it is so hard.

On top of that he seems to have major separation anxiety issues which seem to be getting worse. Last Sept he hurt his leg and as a precaution he had his leg in plaster for 7 days. The first 4 days he was stranded on the couch until he learnt to crawl and then walk with the cast.
Since then he is really clingy, sometimes won't even let DH do things for him, it has to be me. Originally he freaked if I left the room and was hysterical if I left the room while he was in the highchair.
He got over that but now we have new problems. It used to be that when Mum visited and she left he would cry because he couldn't go with her. Before xmas she came to pick him up from playcentre cos I had an appt but we couldn't even bribe him to get in her car. So I have to be careful what I do at bedtime so as not to make this worse.

I took him to the doctor today as there are a few things not right and they did a few tests, if they don't show any illnesses or infections then I think I will take him back as I just don't think things are quite right.

This is a REALLY long rant, sorry , and if you have got this far you deserve a medal.

I don't really know what I want from this, maybe just to get it off my chest rather than ringing Mum yet again and whinging to her. Both DH and I don't know what to do. We have had enough and all I want to do is cry!

lack of sleep can make them hard to deal with, i know it affects toby and how he deals with things.

you could try worming him, that can affect their sleep and make them grumpy and unsettled. ( that was my mothers solution to most problems i'm sure... lol)

diane levy seems to have some good ideas on settling them to sleep without screaming and crying so maybe get one of her books out of the library.. or that chap that i dont like - nigle latta. he seems to be very popular.

Thanks ladies, I have Pinky McKay's books as well as Elizabeth Pantley's books which I like but there just doesn't seem to be anything that works well or we fix one thing and another problem pops up. I think he is alot like DH though, they both have trouble winding down but once they have they are asleep almost instantly.

Bizzy, the doctor is testing for worms as well as other things, she did say that even if it doesn't show up on the test results we can treat him anyway. Will just see what happens.

Yes sleep deprivation does make it hard although we are on a first name basis. Jack only slept through a dozen or so times about a year ago, other than that I haven't had a full nights sleep since sometime during my pg with him so 3+yrs ago! I think at the moment it is more emotional exhaustion. We just seem to have run out of ideas on what to try next.

Oh well, I did feel a bit better last night after having my rant. Thanks for listening!

Thanks Lizzle, will keep that in mind when I get the other test results back next week