toddler adjusting to new baby

how did your toddler adjust to a new baby?

What did you do in the lead up?

Just wondering as DS2 is due soon

We didnt do anything really we thought she would be too young to understand the whole concept, we told her their was a baby in mummys tummy but that was about it.

After baby was born, she came to the hospital and it was at first sight .. and she has been besotted with him every since! She was nearly 15 months old when he arrived.

Jake turned 2 the week she arrived. I didn't think he really got that the baby in my tummy was coming out to live with us ... but he seemed to have picked up on alot more than we thought!
He has been great with her - absolutely adores her! He got a little funny about dh holding her at first (my daddy) but seemed to know mum and Morgan were a package deal. He has been far more patient than I expected with me feeding her etc. And sometimes was happy to wait in the lounge while I put her down (food and tv helps) but sometimes I just had to tell him to be quiet and he came with me. Hes a little rough now but does it out of love and excitement and she LOVES having him near her (hes never hurt her intentionally, just one accidental knock on the head) .... she has her hands out now trying to grab hold of his hair / top / whatever she can get! She will calm down for him too if shes grumpy and I'm in the kitchen, he gets down on the ground in her face and says baby baby baby and she stops moaning!

I got a couple of pressies from her to him, for her to give to him in hospital when they visited me. We also had dh do his bath and put him to bed for the 6 weeks before I was due (knowing I would probably have a c section) and more of the lifting in the last few weeks as c section was confirmed, so he was used to dh doing more for him. I also made sure I wasn't holding her when they came in to see her for the first time, so he got cuddles with me first before meeting her. when we got home, once she was fed I would hand her over to mum or dh so I could sit on the ground and play with him for a while so he didn't get jealous. She slept HEAPS at first though, so it really didn't seem to bother him. He was always asking where she is, and if shes coming out with us etc.

The other thing I did was let him help open some of the baby pressies and got a couple of hot wheels cars in case he got funny that there were no pressies for him when people came over.

Good luck!

Yeah, great tips-thanks!

We did a lot of what Nikki did, its all about normalising it, and thinking about how you will cope in every little normal situation, like occupying a toddler while you're feeding (snacks and books handy), how they can help (Jack gets wipes, nappies, Ava's dummy and helps turn her music on when we put her to bed).

We separate his and her stuff by telling him 'only babies play with that' or 'only babies have dummies/sleep in cots/wear nappies (thats the latest one)' and that big boys do such and such... works well

DD1 was 23mths, and I didn't think she had much of an understanding that a baby was coming, but lots of people talked to her about becoming a big sister etc.

She has been absolutely wonderful and is in love with her wee sister. She was pretty unfazed when we first got home with her - wanted to read a book instead of look at her, but now can't get enough of her.

I had a friend come to stay with a baby a few months before EDD - that probably helped.

We didn't set up the babies room until 2weeks before EDD (we moved at 37wks), but once her room was set up we were able to talk about the baby sleeping in here etc which helped to make it a bit more real for her.

I haven't really heard any horror stories, so I'm sure you will be fine - good luck.