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katief View Drop Down
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    Posted: 14 May 2015 at 4:06pm
Hi everyone. I'm expecting a boy (due in a couple of months) and I'm experiencing something of a dilemma in that my husbands wants to have him circumcised.

I see absolutely no reason to do it, and from what I have read it is not common in NZ these days. My midwife told us that it is still more common than many people realise and referred us to a Dr who does it.

There seems to be heaps online about this topic, but most of it seems to be from countries where it is normal for boys to be circumcised at birth.

I wondered what Kiwi mums think about it, and in particular whether any of you have had husbands/partners who wanted it done, and if anyone had their son circumcised.
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Nellennium View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Nellennium Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 4:57pm
Get him to watch a video of it being done. People used to think babies don't feel pain like adults do and so babies were not given pain relief. It's been proven untrue, they feel it alright. People misinterpret the baby falling asleep afterwards for being perfectly ok, you'd pass out as well if you'd just had the most sensitive part of your penis cut off. Sorry, I could go on about it! It absoultly breaks my heart. See if you can find medical facts. Break the cycle, it's a form of abuse in my opinion. (Unless medically needed and done in a humane way with pain killers and whilst put under)
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Jessaroo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jessaroo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 7:50pm
What are his reasons for wanting it done?
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Mummyinc View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mummyinc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 8:01pm
It was something i looked into when i found out i was having a boy, as my partner is circ he wanted info too. Everything i found made me strongly oppose the practice. It is incredibly painful, can cause lasting damage, and unless done for medical reasons in total unnecessary. Also i tend to think children should have a say in what happens to their own bodies if is it just a cosmetic procedure, it is very uncommon, less then 5% babies have it done in NZ these days, and id guess the 5% are for religious reasons ( which is still not ok in my book, but that's another discussion) this maybe a helpful link to awnser any questions, http://www.intactamerica.org/learnmore
Ready to try for our Winter Wildling to join Louie and Scarlett our Autumn and Summer Babies

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Kosmolicious View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kosmolicious Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 8:06pm
I have a boy and there is NO WAY IN HELL I would have got him circumcised. There is no medical reason to do it and the thought of handing my newborn baby over to get part of his penis cut off, was just against everything I believe in.

38yrs with a 4yr old. Been TTc for almost 2yrs now. Have just tried Letrozole but think I have luteal phase defect. 23ish day cycles.
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CoopersMummy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CoopersMummy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 8:19pm
His body his choice, not yours to take away from him in my opinion and it wouldn't happen to grown men like it does to the tiny tiny babies we are meant to be protecting

Edited by CoopersMummy - 14 May 2015 at 8:29pm
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katief View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote katief Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 9:12pm
Jessaroo - One of the reasons he wants it done is that he was circumcised when he was 13 for medical reasons. I didn't actually know that until recently. I always thought he's had it done as a baby. I guess it was a tough thing to go through at that age, and he doesn't want our son to experience the same thing.

I completely agree that it's an unnecessary and horrible procedure, and I would prefer not to put our son through it, but at the same time I respect my husband's view, and it is ultimately a male issue.

I guess I just wondered whether other fathers have wanted their sons circumcised and what mums think about that.
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Nellennium View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nellennium Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 9:34pm
I wouldn't let it be his choice just because he's a male. And if he doesn't want his son to go through that as an adult why put a baby through that, with no pain relief, awake, strapped to the table so they can't move. Just because the baby won't remember as an adult does not take away the fact it's a horrific experience. For whatever reason he needed it medically done, you need to find out from a Dr the odds of it happening to your son (if it's genetic or otherwise). I strongly suggest you both watch a video of it being done. And put yourself in that babies position and try to comprehend just how barbaric and torture like practice is. It's basically like slicing your nipples off.
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Mushroom View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mushroom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2015 at 10:26pm
Just want to add a bit of info. My husband and his brother were both circumsised as children due to really bad infections (so medical reasons). We looked into it when we had our son as my husband has vivid memories of how horrible the pain was with the infection, and how much better is was post-circumcision. He also doesn't care about being circumcised as it is completely normal for him, and certainly doesn't give him any issues. However, from our research we found that it's actually very rare to circumcise for medical reasons anymore, as antibiotic treatments have progressed a lot further to treat infections compared to in the past. We figure if our son does need something done later in life then we can do something then, but wasn't any need to do it from birth.

There is also a good chance your husband will feel differently after your son is actually born, as holding such a wee baby at that age brings new feelings men can't imagine beforehand.
Me: 35, PCOS, endo, DH: 34, severe MFI
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CoopersMummy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CoopersMummy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2015 at 9:47am
If your son needs it for medical reasons later in life he will have pain relief, be explained about how and why it is done, he will have a say in the matter and his feelings heard and fears helped. If your son has it done as a baby he will have no idea why, he will have next to no proper pain relief and he won't have a choice, he will also still feel the pain he would if he needed it done later
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katief View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote katief Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2015 at 2:32pm
My husband needed it done because he couldn't roll his foreskin back. It seems quite common for it to be done for medical reasons. I guess he thinks its better to have it done when you can't remember than late in life when you can.

From what I've read it used to be pretty much commonplace for boys to be circumcised at birth in NZ, so I guess there must be lot of mums out there with circumcised partners, who haven't gone through with it.

I must admit I find this quite a difficult subject to talk about with him, and I don't know much about it. It was only when he raised it after we found out we're expecting a boy that I've ever thought about it.

I will have to find out whether my husband's foreskin problem might be genetic.
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Mummyinc View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mummyinc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2015 at 2:56pm
Just to add to this, my Partner's circ was done when he was older too and for medical reasons, he was 5yr, he remembers the pain and his brother was 3 or so had the same thing and got a major infection after the circ. our son is 3 now and has had no issues what so ever with Penile health, we live at the beach and he regularly goes nude playing in the sand and again no issues. Id say if it was a genetic thing you would know pretty early on, and can make that decision then.

Ready to try for our Winter Wildling to join Louie and Scarlett our Autumn and Summer Babies

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Nellennium View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nellennium Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2015 at 3:09pm
I do understand him thinking that to do it while a baby it would be better as then you won't remember. But he needs to understand that as a baby he won't have a choice or pain relief. He's only thinking of his own experience and not rationally thinking about what he'd be putting his son through.

It's a bit of a bizarre comparison, but you wouldn't remove a child's wisdom teeth with no anesthetic or pain relief, just because you experienced the removal yourself as an adult and it was horrendously painful (painful even with pain relief!) - would you?
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