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Jakinty 
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Joined: 26 August 2008
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 Topic: Two months on
Posted: 27 November 2008 at 8:51pm |
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Isn't it amazing how it can come back and hit you all over again??
I am having a rough time of it at the moment. Have had a crazy two months since we lost little monkey, including losing my gdad. It's amazing how you can be feeling fine, then all of a sudden that awful, sad, gut wrenching feeling hits you again.
I keep on thinking 'oh i would be this far along now' and how different i would be looking. I can't even contemplate trying again yet. I just wish it would all be better...!! My bf is due next month, and while she looks very uncomfortable, i would do anything to be in her shoes.
How long did it take for you to feel normal again?
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Bubbaloo
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 27 November 2008 at 10:14pm |
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Hugs chick I catch myself doing the same thing thinking I would be able to feel the kicks etc would just about be getting into the third trimester now.
Everyone is different and I don't really think the feelings of loss will ever go comnpletely away but all and all when I don't catch myself thinking about it I feel normal it just gets a bit easier as time goes.
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 Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08
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WestiesGirl
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Joined: 11 October 2007
Location: Aotearoa - In the 'Sunny' S.I
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Posted: 28 November 2008 at 12:01am |
Awww hun  . I know how you feel. I look at my calendar at times and think I'd be 24 weeks by now and this would be happening with baby etc. And if I was still pg my SIL would have been 2 weeks behind me. Now she's 22 weeks ahead and I think how her body will be changing etc and know I'd do anything to have what she has too.
Hang in there hun, I know its hard to comprehend but it does get easier I promise, I dont know how but it does. 5 months on for me and its still a sensitive subject, but much easier to talk and think about.
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Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Jakinty
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Joined: 26 August 2008
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Posted: 28 November 2008 at 9:23am |
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I guess time does really heal everything!
Rianna do you find it hard with your SIL re the pregnancy?? I am so happy for my friend because she will be a great mum but it's so difficult sometimes to look at all the things she's got and check out the progress on the baby's room...
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Mum_mum
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Joined: 30 April 2008
Location: NZ
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Posted: 28 November 2008 at 10:38am |
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Hey Jakinty, I took me about 5 months to come right mentally. Even after 4 months i found out a close workmates wife was expecting and it hurt so bad to know that i wasnt getting my baby! Even now i get the odd thought of i would be having a bub in 5 weeks time.... gosh thats hard to think about without getting a tear!
It still hurts but the pain gets a little less and i am really looking forward to being pregnant again and thinking of another bubba!
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minik8e
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Location: Taranaki
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Posted: 28 November 2008 at 11:20am |
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I have had a few tough weeks for the same reasons. I went and read the May Mummies to be thread, and realised that about now I'd be 13 weeks or so - out of the 1st trimester, and well on my way to becoming a mum. It felt like my heart was wrenched out. I still don't particularly like being around babies, and am envious of those who are pregnant. BUT we are TTC, and I know that it is not a replacement - I don't want to replace the baby we lost, I want a baby with a life and memories of its own. That's how I knew I was OKish.
The pain is a LOT less than it was a month ago as well.
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WestiesGirl
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Location: Aotearoa - In the 'Sunny' S.I
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Posted: 28 November 2008 at 11:56pm |
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Jakinty yep I totally understand what you mean. When they told us it was only 3 weeks after my D&C so it hurt and it hurt a lot. I didnt let on to them at the time that I was upset, it was when they left that I started crying etc.
Now, well I am still gutted that she is Pg and Im not but am slowly getting used to the idea. I couldnt be happier for them but its hard for us, we we've done everything we can to try and get pg and it happened on their first try. We havent seen them since we found out so I guess that hasnt helped as I've not allowed myself to get used to it.
For me I guess its something I've always wanted and it has been taken away from me and now I want it more than before.
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Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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mylilmosaic
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Posted: 29 November 2008 at 11:15am |
Awww hugs jakinty Hun it does get easier, Ive had two miscarriages in the last five months and while the first one was a natural m/c and early on (which I found easier to deal with) it was still hard. But the second one which I needed a d & c for really took its toll on me. But four weeks after dnc we are finally moving on and trying again lol  I think I must be crazy!!
But once my body felt better then I seemed to get my mojo back, but I try really hard not to think too much about it otherwise I think I would be a mess.
Even though we are ttc'in again, I can't even think ahead to being 6-8 weeks pregnant and how Im going to feel, I guess I will be scared to death (thats if we even get preg again).
I guess we are all different and it takes us all different lengths of time to move forward. It is a huge thing that has happened to you and to us all, so I guess you will know when you are ready. And in the meantime we are all here to listen and vent to if you need us 
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goldy
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Posted: 30 November 2008 at 12:56pm |
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My SIL and Cousin are both pregnant, we were all due about the same time. Even though I'm really happy for them, it's so hard to have a constant reminder. They're both getting tiny bellies and when I see them it makes me so sad. Hopefully it will get easier as time goes on, but I'm afraid that as their bellies get bigger than so will my sadness.
Big hugs to all of you, it's just not fair.
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Jakinty
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Posted: 03 December 2008 at 8:58pm |
No, it isn't fair esp when we would all be fab mums and have tried so hard :) 
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Two months on
