Feeling very confused...

Hi,
I have posted on this board before but not for a wee while, my DH and I have been on a waiting list for ICSI, which we are doing in December this year. We have been ttc since Feb 09 and found out last year that Dh has a sperm count of around 2 million and about 8% motility.
I feel okay with doing ICSI and DH and I have coped really well with everything so far but as it's getting closer to December I'm suddenly having an attack of the 'what ifs' and thinking what if we just try harder, and maybe my stress and workload is contributing to us not concieving naturally. I know that we are dealing with MFI but I keep hearing of these success stories that people have with low sperm counts and thinking maybe if we just waited a little longer we could do it on our own....but then what if we are still ttc in 10 years with no luck?
Sorry I know this is a jumble and hard to understand what I'm really saying(hence the title 'confused' lol) but I guess I'm finding it hard to deal with the medical diagnosis from the Fertility specialists, and then all of the conflicting advice and 'cures' offered from natural therapists, as well as the miracle stories from other people in a similar situation.
Has anyone else had similar feelings and confusion before their first round of Fertility treatment?I know I should be excited that we will finally be able to do something but all of these feelings have suddenly hit me in the past few days and I'm just struggling with it all of a sudden.
Helps to have written it all down anyway!

thanks Hope...
I'm 27 and DH 28, I feel a little silly about my post but I think it's just the whole unknown thing that comes with infertility, and wanting to know if we are going down the right path...I think I'm just having a moment though and wanted to see if I'm being silly or if others have had these little meltdowns about impending IVF or other treatments.
I think if we waited and I didn't get pregnant then I would regret not going for it....I think I'm just nervous about the whole thing but we have our pre- IVF appointment in September so maybe that will help.
Good luck with your next round Hope, will keep fingers crossed for you!

Hey, what your feeling is totally normal, I remember having many a melt down about many a thing before we did ICIS. I think for me I found it really hard that the Dr's were saying that there was something wrong with DF but I had to go through all the medical stuff! That just doesnt seam right does it?!?!
In the end I decided that it was better just to get on with it and give it a go, life is full of so many "what if's" that I didnt need to add another one to the list. ICIS really wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be and even though it didnt work for us (sorry to say) we are both so pleased that we did it when we did. If we hadnt, we wouldnt be where we are now. Talk to the counselors at the clinic, they are great at putting your mind at rest, and Im not one for seaking that kind of help normally.
Good luck and fingers crossed for you.

You are definitely not alone with any of that!! I feel the same way about having to be careful what I say around hubby, but feel hard done by in some ways that it's me that has to do everything!! He feels really bad about it and I understand that so am very careful in expressing my emotions fully around him at the mo!! He was on menevit too, it improves those that are there but it doesn't acutally improve numbers.
I would be interested to see if his numbers have now changed that it has been a few months since seeing the osteopath - there was no change a month later but more time may have done something. He's really lucky to have gotten into a really good naturopath so will be interesting to see if his remedies have done anything too - first test gets sent away next week.
It's a little different for me in that I am really blessed to have a 3yr old daughter who we concieved instantly!! So this has been really hard to come to terms with - but on the other hand I feel quite positive that because I know I can carry good as gold (no worries at all in my pregnancy) that surely this should work as I know I can carry.....but then I don't want to get my hopes up too high either.
Go with your gut feeling.....as you say you have 5 months to see if anything will happen anyway....and it is so hard to put a timeframe on how much longer you could wait....if you waited 3 more months and got to the end of that do you give it 1 more.....that's how I looked at it anyway, and in the meantime if hubby is able to get the low count corrected we can try naturally next time round is my thinking

Hey JaneW - going to put my 2 cents worth in. I am 38yrs old and been TTC for 14 yrs, just finished my 1st cycle IVF with ICIS with a BFN. Go for your life and get things done as soon as you can.
It doesnt get any easier the older you get. The younger you are the more chance you have of possibly getting a 2nd baby.
My DH has very low sperm count and we have got some frozen semen at clinic as he had to be put onto drugs that dont help with his mobility, but he has been on menivate and his count did go up while on it.
We just waiting now for FET in a couple of months, but doing lots of bonding in the hopes that we might get lucky.
My DH was real funny about bonding while I was doing IVF he was worried about hurting me LOL had a wee giggle at him and told him if I got a BFP he was going to have a loooong 9 months.
All the best with your journey and wish you the best of luck.
My friend did a cycle of IVF with a BFN and she got pregnant the next month naturally - Her DH was also taking menivate.
There is always some hope out there.

Thanks for sharing Rosiefarmer, and sorry to hear of your BFN- I will keep fingers crossed that the next one is a success for you :)
I'll be interested to see if the 8 months of menevit have made a difference for us yet so will get DH to do another SA in a few months! xx

Hey Rach,
Dh has only had one acu session so far, but the acupuncturist seemed very confident that she would be able to help and also that we should be able to concieve on our own.... I know that sounds good but I'm struggling with the fact that the FS has told us we have a less than 5% chance of concieving on our own, and now someone is saying that we can!
We start ICSI in December so I guess we have 4 months for a miracle to occur...we think we will do another SA in November to see if the acu has made any difference so I'll post on here and let you know!
DH had a sample frozen a few months ago too but unfortunately they didn't actually analyse it for us as well as freezing...so we kept trying to ask them what the count, motility etc was as we wanted to see if the Menevit had made any difference but they basically just told us that the sample froze and thawed well and that was it! So just a word of advice...make sure you make it known that you would like to know the count etc of the sample!:)