What to do? Am i being oversensitive ?

Ok, so am needing a little advice here, to tell me if i'm over reacting or just being silly.

Here's the background:

One day a few months back, I was walking back long my street from dropping paris off at school one morning. From halfway down the street i saw a man i had never seen before standing a few houses down from our house looking like he was doing up his shoelaces on a fence.. he was normal looking, maybe early 20's, didn't think too much of it, he finished whatever he was doing and continued towards me down the street.

He then came up to me, with a toy gun (one that our local $2 shop sells that gives you a little shock when you touch the trigger - a silly trick toy) and he said "here pull the trigger" to which i politely declined wondering what the heck was he on.... he continued to get in my face, persisting and making me feel quite unsafe in the whole situation, I kept walking and get past him and he'd keep circling back around in front of me.

I asked him to leave me alone and stop following, to which he laughed and continued really annoying me. He said he'd keep following me until i did it... which i sooo wasn't going to. Going as far as to say to me "well then I'll just have to follow you home into your house and make you do it". By this time i was just reaching my driveway and decided it would not be safe to go up our long driveway alone with him following me, so just continued on past and around the corner to my mum's house half a block away. He stopped once we were 1 street over from our street. I waited at mums about an hour or so and got her to come back with me when i walked back home.

I then find out a few days later that obviously, he has moved into the house next door (well, we have another long driveway that goes to the house behind us, separating our 2 fences). And have since realised that he seems to be autistic or some such thing, i can clearly see his behaviours are very much like my nephews from what i have seen around the neighbourhood. From what i can gather, he always has someone there with him at the house.

Now, despite him really freaking the heck outta me, I don't care too much that he's living there, he has every right... so long as he doesn't do something like that to me ever again. I always ensure that i am out with the girls when they play out in the front part of our house anyway as there's no gate between the drive and the road. Our backyard is fully fenced and locked.

The thing that is worrying/annoying me is this. ...he has a trampoline, which is behind his house, which he obviously is infatuated with, as he jumps on it pretty much the whole day. which means, he can see over the fence and into all of our living areas in the house. Now sure, maybe i shouldn't go walking about in a towel, and i have had to really hone down on the girls as they tend to just strip off anywhere and everywhere around home as they can... up till now no one could see so who cares.

i feel like all day everyday, he is looking into our house, No matter what i am doing there he is jumping about looking over the fence, not blatantly just looking at us, as he jumps all around the thing seemingly cracking up at everything, but now my girls have started calling to him when on their trampoline. both me and mike have told them off for this many times, i even have explained to them the other night about what happened that day and how he made me feel unsafe and re-itterated our previous discussions about stranger danger and people that make you feel bad/unsafe...

what can i do, what would you do in this situation. I have a few worries for my daughters but feel bad as i know that i shouldn't really be so mean and prejudiced towards him, knowing that this is likely to be how my nephew will be when he's older. I do have compassion but as a mother i want to protect my girls, and teach them to protect themselves.

any advice? what can i say/do to let my girls know i don't want them doing this, and how do i get my rpivacy back? I have thought that maybe i could see if mike could go and talk to his carers about moving the trampoline over a little so that the tree in the yard would stop him watching our every move but i feel i have no right to do so either?

sorry for this being so long

Edited by mum2paris

I say ask for it to be moved too. Anyone would understand that you want your privacy, and if you do it nicely and they have room then I can't see there being a problem.

Thats a weird situation I feel really sorry for you!! I'd move your trampoline if you can or if you can't ask them to move his. They have to be realsitic about your privacy and that of your girls hopefully they won't mind. It's hard to get kids not to look or talk to people...I have the same prob with mine climbing the fence and staring at the gang guys next door   so glad it's not long till we move!

...I don't have much advice but I know how much I hate living next door to the people I do and sometimes I get scared. I hope something happens so that this situation works out for you!

Yeah I'd just go talk to them and say that you understand that he has autism or whatever it is and you are accepting of that as you have a family member with the same condition however him bouncing and being able to see directly into your house all day does bother you guys. If you don't come across stand offish they are likely to understand

Bit weird though If not, Id invest in some nets

exactly Kelly, that's soo what i'm trying to get across and why i feel so bad about it it's certainly a difficult situation.

i think talking to them about where it can be possibly moved to might be the go, i certaintly wouldn't expect him to stop as i know that right now my own nephew is going crazy as someone broke his trampoline over xmas and my mum is yet to get it fixed, he is much the same as this guy.

That's a tough one mum2paris, you need to feel safe & have your privacy also. I would go talk to them, just ask if the tramp can be moved so you get your privacy back.

I would look at putting up a shade or something just where he looks over, you could run flowers or beans off it.

We all need to get on with our neighbours so living next to them is comfortable, but we need to make sure we are happy about things and I would not be if someone was looking in on me all the time, you don't live in a zoo.

Good luck to you, go meet them, they maybe lovely people who don't realise what is happening.