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angel7801 
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Joined: 06 April 2010
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 Topic: Need advice
Posted: 20 March 2011 at 4:57pm |
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Hi Im Janine Im 26 with an 18 month old baby girl. Her dad and I are split up. I thought he may have changed and we sort of started seeing each other. Ive just found out I am preganant again. I have given away most of my baby clothes I had for Bree as I wasnt planning another. I told my mum I was pregnant and she hit the roof Im unsure if shes told my family. I am currently a solo mum on the dpb due in nov the father of my babies is in prision and Im trying to get my head around it all. I have a really tight budget and cant afford alot. The docs asking me questions like do I want a doc or midwife. I had an emergancy c section with Bree and dont know what to do eg c section or natural. I really need advice from somebody please.
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princesspumpkin
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Joined: 27 January 2009
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Posted: 20 March 2011 at 5:48pm |
 , Janine - must be a tough time for you at the moment! Do you think your family will help you out once they get over the 'hit the roof' stage?
With choosing a doc or a midwife, I suppose it kinda depends on why you had to have a c section last time - there are lots of midwives who do VBACs though if that's the direction you want to go in 
Sorry I haven't offered much advice - but didn't want to read & run. There are lots of fabulous ladies on here, I'm sure someone will be able to be a bit more useful!
xx
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Chickoin
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Joined: 29 October 2007
Location: Perth
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Posted: 20 March 2011 at 5:48pm |
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Try not to stress too much about stuff for the baby, you have some time to get the basics. I am guessing you still have a cot, high chair, pram etc from DD and I am sure you could get some help from WINZ if it gets too much. Isn't there some deal where IRD gives you a pay out too or is that more of a tax rebate if you're working? Hopefully your mum will calm down soon.
If I was you, I would choose a MW simply because I have found that they are a bit more supportive emotionally and if your mw feels that you need to be under OB care then you can sort that out later.
Make sure you put you and your children first hun, don't let your mum or your babies' dad stress you out too much.
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Babykatnz
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Joined: 11 April 2008
Location: Papatoetoe
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Posted: 20 March 2011 at 7:11pm |
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Cant get the payout from IRD if you're on DPB, but I believe you can get an advance from WINZ via certain stores (warehouse is one of the usuals) to buy the 'big' baby stuff (cot, pram etc), and you just pay them back a small amount each week. Otherwise trademe is a good place to be on the hunt for cheap stuff, I got a good quality 3-wheel pram in very good condition for $50, and our cot was also $50 off a family members sister.
What area of NZ are you in? the Salvos or womens refuge may be able to help with donated clothing for bubs, or their opshops may have some stuff you could look at?
Recovery from a c-section is a LOT harder when you have a toddler to handle too, I have found it tough going with a 21 month gap, and thats with a partner at home to help out as much as he can, so would be a lot harder for you being on your own. Most midwives will take you on if you are considering trying for a natural birth, but as Serendipity says, it may depend on the reasons for having the c-sect last time as to whether you even have that option. I ended up going with a shared care scheme where particular pre-scheduled visits were at the hospital with one of their community midwives, and the rest of my appts and scan referrals etc were with my GP. If I hadnt had TWO c-sections already then a midwife might have taken me on (I had a midwife with #2 as my c-section with #1 had been 5 years prior and no known reasons for labour to not progress, so in her mind I was a candidate for VBAC)but in the end I was transferred to an OB and gestational diabetes team at our local Superclinic towards the end anyway, so ended up with different people looking after me!
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mummymonster
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Joined: 11 September 2009
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Posted: 20 March 2011 at 7:14pm |
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I had an emergency C with #1 and am under a MW care for #2. She reffered me to an OB about 28/30wks, and then you discuss with the OB what your chances of a VBAC are and go from there.
I've found both my MW and OB very supportive about the whole thing.
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angel7801
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Posted: 20 March 2011 at 8:37pm |
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THanks. I do have the bigger items cot, high chair, single pram, I dont know weather or not to buy a double, Winz cant help with advances Im maxed out of advances. I havent long moved into my own place with Bree. I have some girls clothes but hoping not to find out til the birth what the sex is. Bree was born after an induced labour which 6 hrs later was only 2 cm dialated contractions one on top of each other so thy decided on a c section.
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Lillybetts
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Joined: 16 May 2010
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Posted: 20 March 2011 at 8:43pm |
Like babykatnz said, call up winz and tell them your circimstances. I'm pretty sure you can get things like 'temporary support' or maybe even look into getting financial support for a nanny (I've hear you can do that, esp. with the 20 hours free. But may not apply as your DD is 18months). But worth a try?
Also going to your local church would be a good idea. I know it would be difficult putting yourself out there, especially with people you don't know. But a lot of churches are quite willing to help mothers in need. I know our church does.
Hope this helps and all the best
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Lillybetts
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Posted: 20 March 2011 at 8:45pm |
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Sorry just read your post Janine about Winz.. I had this typed up but didn't post it for a while as I got side tracked.
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Kazper
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Joined: 30 November 2008
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Posted: 20 March 2011 at 10:22pm |
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I know a young mum who was on dpb, but still got the $2000 paid out over so many weeks when bub was born. If your not eligible for paid parental leave then you get the other whether or not you are on dpb.
Good luck with everything. I wish you all the best and hope you have or get plenty of support from the people around you.
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angel7801
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Posted: 20 March 2011 at 10:35pm |
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http://www.ird.govt.nz/yoursituation-ind/parents/parents-parental-tax-credit.html
I dnt qualify on the dpb.
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 21 March 2011 at 8:53am |
*hugs*
I had an emergency CS with my first and then an elective 14 months later! and it was hard work with a toddler running round and that was having my husband home for 2 weeks. If you speak to a MW they should let you try natural, the recovery will be so much better, given the chance again i would go the VBAC route.
Id definitely call WINZ and see how they can help you as well :) also, start putting away a little bit each week now so that you can buy the big baby things, and buy one thing each week, ie clothes etc, and Trade Me is awesome for baby stuff
Dont stress, it will all work out
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