first night away from me

You could get her used to having other people put her to bed starting with Daddy being more involved at bedtime. We started with Daddy being in the room while Iread books, put to bed,.... then Daddy would read the books and I would just sit there, to eventually she was happy to say goodnight to me in the lounge. Isla was about 2 1/2 and I was still the only one that could put her to bed, and wanted to make the change so we could take turned for when #2 was born, and I wasnt going to always be able to put her to bed.
Have a simple routinue that can be followed by others, so that wherever DD is and whoever is putting her to bed she can recognise the regular routinue.
We warn DD 10 before bed, then 5 mins, then its toilet teeth, book, and bed.Then whoever is putting her to bed sings her a little song, kisses her and leaves. I have always sung her one particulr song before bed, and DH now has his own one and so does grandma.
Good luck! You dont have to rush into it. Im sure it will go smoother for u and her if she is happy to be put to bed by some one other than you.
If u put her down at her grandparents house she may wake in the night expecting u to be there, and get even more upset when she discovers that u arent- she probably wont get it that u not there since u put her to bed- it would likely be easier for them to comfort her if they were the ones that settled her to sleep.

DD has been staying overnight with her grandparents since she was 6 months, and she goes to stay with her Dad one night each week. I agree that the best thing is to drop her off there, probably before dinner so they can go through her whole bedtime routine with her. Just let them know what you normally do and leave them to it.

I think you should say goodbye, otherwise she might get upset when she realises you have gone. I would tell her probably the day or two days before that coz she is a big girl now she is going to get to spend the night at Gran and Grandads (or whoever she calls them) and she is going to have heaps of fun with them. On the day tell her that tonight she is going to stay with them and emphasise the fun factor. Don't tell her you will miss her, just keep it upbeat even if she says she doesn't want to go. Then when you are there to drop her off give her whatever teddy or cuddly she normally has and tell her that Gran and Grandad are going to give her dinner, and her bath and put her to bed tonight and wow that will be fun. Then say good bye in a light happy voice (see ya sweetie/darling etc, have heaps of fun and I'll see you in the morning/tommorrow), and leave quickly even if there is tears. Even if she cries she will probably stop quickly. You can always ring and speak to them later and see how its going.

Good luck! I'm sure she will enjoy herself. Grandparents are great

Hmmmmm ok i guess i just never do it because DD hates it and then wont let me leave. Nor can i leave her without the tears lol

But MIL has told me once im gone DD just says mums gone home now without any problems

Ooooo how exciting! I'd just drop her off and let them give her dinner and put her to bed. And as for her calling for you when your DH tries to put her to bed, have you tried going out about an hour before her bedtime so she knows you aren't home? That's what we had to do when J started putting DD to bed. Worked really well!

Another idea is getting a book from the library about sleepovers. We have a few around and we always make it out be a really fun adventure going for a sleepover at nana's. To be fair it is fun, all the junkfood a toddler could ever want, cuddles galore, endless stories, generally being spoilt rotten. Ah the joys of nana's.

You could also buy her a few things for her sleepover - like a torch or a special bag for her toiletries.