VB & C section

oh and you think that recovering from a 3rd degree tear is easy...try not being able to sit for 2 weeks...or having to get into the shower to pee for 10 days....do it in the middle of the night...recovery from a tear like that takes as long as recovery from a c section and let me tell you...I bet you anything it is easier not to bend than not to sit or pee. Try holdign your baby when you cant sit.

To echo Linzy, I'm sorry you obviously had such a bad birth experience. Pelvic floor problems can result simply from pregnancy - if you had had a c-section then it's possible you would still have the same problems. It might be worth looking into some alternative treatments to help out - I know sometimes osteopathy can help for example. I'm by no means an expert but there are options other than kegels.

Having had one of each (a c section then a VBAC) I also have to disagree with you. It's well documented that the risks of a c section for mum and baby far exceed the risks of a VB.

Welcome to OHbaby! - but I must add I don't think it's helpful to come on to a forum full of pregnant women and try to scare them by telling them how awful a birth experience and the after effects can be.

I hope you find some healing - physical and spiritual - soon

I have had a weak bladder since giving birth, but I would choose a VB over a Csect anyday tbh. Csects are a serious operation and tbh why have one unless it is absolutely necessary? It can have serious potential life long effects too. Hope that makes sense...

I am sorry you had a bad birth experience, I know of others who have had them too, and to your extent as well.

And agree with Weegee, you can get weak bladder etc from pregnancy as well as giving birth and there are things you can do to help, and you can go as far as even getting surgery, from memory there was a thread on here about it a few months back.

buzylizy, I had a similar birth experience to you - 3 episiotomies that left me in a mess. I could not sit down for months without pain, not weeks. After a year and a half of pain & depression that seriously tested (but strengthened!) our marriage i got reconstructive surgery that went a long way towards making it better, but it will never be 100% normal. i have to have an elective this time around and for any future pregnancies.

However my birth experience was simply incredibly unlucky and by NO MEANS the norm. Even after all that I said the very next day that my precious wee baby was worth it all!

May I gently suggest that you move this topic out of 'pregnancy' and change the subject to make it less ambiguous? I am sorry that you had a traumatic time, but as said above, a natural delivery, if safe and possible, is the best thing for both baby and mum (after all, that's how we are designed!), and it is important to remember that everyone's birth experiences (both natural and CS) and recovery are completely different, and for every pregnancy too- my SIL, like you, had a 3rd degree tear for her first but recovered well with no long term effects and happily had a natural delivery the 2nd time around.

You have not said how long ago your birth was, but it obviously has affected you deeply and negatively. Coming from personal experience, I suggest that you talk to someone about it and work towards finding peace about it all.

MuppetsMama, can I ask who you talked to about it? I'm wondering whether I need to do something similar for myself...

I also had a nasty episiotomy and then an allergic reaction to the stitches. It's fair to say I was in agony for the first month of my baby's life (yes, I was peeing in the shower at all hours too - I can remember being super relieved that at least I didn't have to pee as often as I had been in late pregnancy!). And I still have some tenderness/pain with sex, but for me, it's meant that I'm going to be uber-prepared next time to do everything possible to get a smoother vaginal birth. I still believe they are best in most cases.

But hugs to you, I know how awful it can be to deal with the grief and pain left by a rough birth. I hope you find some treatment and some peace soon

T_Rex, I actually had a lot of help from my MIL, who had 4 very rough births herself, and my SIL. I'm lucky in that we are a very close supportive family, but I know not everyone has that, so I would suggest the next best thing would be to talk to your midwife if you feel comfortable doing so, and perhaps your doctor if you have a helpful doctor (the one I went to see obviously had no experience with PND and was useless), or try counselling or a PND support group in your area. Even your plunket nurse might be helpful - mine is great. I hope you get the help you need. I recommend you talk about it, and don't bottle it up or try to deal with it on your own. You say you still have pain with sex - have you had your doctor examine your scar? My scar tissue healed badly and formed a very tight area, which is why I needed surgery. Otherwise, I've heard that in most cases (not mine!) a VB next time can help stretch the tissue. Good luck, PM me if you want.

I had a natural birth, DS was 3.5kgs and there is NOTHING wrong with my pelvic floor anymore. Apart from a 2 week period where I had a nasty nasty cough, and had to use liners, everythings ok now.

I just made sure I done my exercises ALLL the time. DH helped by reminding me to 'tighten up' LMAO Males! But now I don't have a single problem what-so-ever. Although my MW thinks my age may have helped, I'm quite young and my whole body bounced back reasonably well pretty fast :P

So VB doesn't necessarily mean your muscles will be stuffed