Issues!!

I didn't know where to put this as we TTC-ed for 2 years and then got pregnant and miscarried so it's going in the infertility and miscarriage forums.

I have a friend who I went through a lot of my school years with. We weren't that close at school and it wasn't until two years AFTER school that we became quite close. Hubby and I see her and her partner usually 2 - 3 times a week, and she became the close girlfriend that I'd go to whenever I was upset about not falling pregnant. She was also the one who came over and sat with me, talked when I needed her to talk, listened when I needed her to listen, after I miscarriage. When no one else would talk to me about it. (Other than hubby of course!) No one else knew what to say and would switch topic when I tried to talk about it.

A few weeks back, she was trying to give me advice, and after I told her that I needed a break from discussing my 2 year infertility and then my miscarriage, she took it personally and we haven't been the same since. I didn't just snap at her, I told her a few times that I needed time out from it but she kept pushing and then I snapped. I told her that she hadn't a clue what was going on so could she please back off. I wasn't rude about it at all. I didn't actually say back off!

She hasn't got kids, she's not TTC, and she wont be trying for a few years. I just didn't need her telling me what to do when she hadn't experienced it.

I see her once a week at pub quiz, but she's a bit short with me, and she doesn't want to hang out other than that anymore.

I'm a bit lost about how to go on, because I miss her. I'm not sure if I overreacted or not.

We had issues before where she kept reverting back to her (before I miscarried) e.g. "Who knows if I can even conceive?" "I'm going to try for this long then do this..." "Will you be a surrogate for me if I can't get pregnant?" I was like dude!! You aren't even TTC! And I am! And this sucks for me! Luckily the two of us worked through that but... I hate not having her by my side.

What should I do? :(

Hi kelzie_rose

Sorry I don't know if I can offer any great advice, but thought I would say that I can sympathise with you.... I've been TTC for nearly 4 years now & had a friend who I considered to be one of my best friends hurt me recently.
My mate was my "go to girl" who I would tell everything to in regards to my journey of TTC. She always told me that if she got pregnant while I was still "trying" that she would tell me in a sympathetic way. Anyways she ended up getting pregnant & told me by randomly blending it into an "everyday" email.
She invited me around for a catch up & I was all for it, until two days before I found out that my last attempt at artificial inseminations (before I had to resort to IVF) had failed, so kindly asked her if we could take a raincheck as I was really hurting & found it too difficult to be around someone pregnant at the time by text & she replied 'I understand'.... and that was it! she didnt even ask if I was ok!!!
Then a few weeks after that, I sent her an email explaining that I hadnt been in touch with her because I was still hurt she hadn't bothered to see how I was doing (sorry I thought friends were supposed to be there for each other?), I told her how excited & over the moon I was for her BFP. She replied & said to me 'how can I sit here pregnant and comment on your failure to get pregnant, your infertility is the "pink elephant" in the room'.
That was the last time I spoke to her! I have found out she had a wee baby boy & I still couldn't be happier for her even after all of that. I miss my mate too but have never known if I should try make amends or let sleeping dogs lie?
Whoops.... sorry for the novel lol
Maybe you could contact your friend and tell her how hard this journey has been for you so far & let her know that sometimes you can be a bit fragile??? What ever your decision is in the end, I wish you luck

Edited by trying4no1