The Bully!

I don't know what to do

Jackson does nothing but hit, push, and scream at other children. They don't have to do anything to him... they could be sitting there just minding their business and he just comes along and pushes them and yells at them.
It is so embarrassing and upsetting for me, some of these are little tiny babies and I decided today that I just don't want to go anywhere with him.

He has a wee friend the same age, and as soon as she turns up to our house he starts yelling, tries to get up on her mums legs to attack the poor child..

The worst incident has been a 3 month old baby at daycare, whom he walked from one side of the room to the other, just to hurt her while she was playing on the floor. Apparently this was the ONLY incident at the creche since they have had him there (he goes 3x a week for 2 hours)

Its not just the hitting either, he screams a horrible high pitched scream a lot - tonight it started over cucumber and did not stop until 8pm!

Plunket nurse said its normal and that I'm doing all the right things, removing him from the situation, sitting him down and telling him why its not ok to hit, then taking him back to apoligise/showing kind hands.
He sometimes apologises to kids before he's even done anything and I sometimes wonder whether he's thinking naughty thoughts and is apoligising for it hehe!

Any advice?

Don't have much time for a huge reply but just wanted to send you huge hugs. Harry went through a biting stage and I found it so hard as a mama and was in tears many times. He's now grown out of it and is a really gentle little boy.

Will try to think more about what we did and if any of it will help.

xx

Jakes doing some similar stuff on occasion so I fully sympathise. It seems almost to be an experimental thing in his case where he's working out how strong he is and where he comes in the hierachy.
I personally give him a spank if he purposely hurts another child so thats really the extent of my advice lol probably not what you want to do though.
Hope you suss it out xx

It is tough to have "the naughty kid". My son was a very active kid (since diagnosed ADHD) and although he wasn't vindictive and didn't deliberately hurt other kids he was rough and caused accidents etc. Threw a firetruck and hit a kid with it. He wouldn't apologise as he said the kid walked in front of the flying truck. Took him home and had to explain that we have to apologise even when it is an accident. Numerous times of running inside and colliding with someone else etc. Pretty much a teachers nightmare until 2 years ago.

Whenever someone got hurt it was his fault. I once had a mother come up to me and rip into me about her daughter who was hit in the stomach apparently by my son. I was so upset and apologised for his behaviour and spoke to him about it. Turns out that the day this little girl was hit my son wasn't even at school and he was just the fall guy for anything that happened due to him usually being involved. But in saying that he often was involved and it was hard not to take it personally as bad parenting etc. Our kids do reflect how we parent but they also have their own frustrations and personality traits. Are we always perfect as adults. Have you ever lost it with another person. Sometimes we hold our kids to a standard of behaviour above what adults have so don't be too hard on yourself. They have bad days just like everyone else. Our job is to guide them in the right direction. If we were all perfect at birth then it would be a very boring world.

My son is now 9 years old and although I get the odd "hes full on isn't he" I mostly get comments on how well behaved he is and how he is a sweet boy. If anything I think because he was a bit difficult it made us tougher with him and he has benefited from that. It has taken a long hard slog but don't give up you will get there.