Missed Miscarriage

Hi all,
wanting to hear from people going through similar thing.

I had my 12/13 week scan this week on 7th April. We found out our baby had died at around 8-9 weeks.

I had actually started spotting about a week before, just brownish discharge, with a couple of drops of red blood during a bowl movement. I kept telling myself this was normal (as it is for some women), but in the back of my head I knew things weren't good.

I started bleeding and getting period pains on Thursday 8th April (pretty much 24hrs after scan). My waters broke at about 9am, and then 2 hours of hell ensued. The pain was horrendous, the "stuff" and blood coming out of me was disgusting and frightening, and it was just so awful.

Before I miscarried, I didn't like the thought of my baby being flushed down the toilet/disposed of after a D&C. I wanted to keep my baby so I could see it and bury it. But during the miscarriage, it wasn't really something I was up to. The pain was so bad I just didn't really care, and a lot of the clots and things were just falling out of me into the toilet. And there was just so much blood that fishing it out to go through it all was just not something I could do. I didn't really want to look at most of it. But I did look at it, and nothing was easily recognisable as a fetus.

I have since been trawling the internet and have found lots of photos of info on missed miscarriages and some people saw their babies come out of them.

Last night something else came out of me - it was the biggest piece yet. It didn't hurt so I examined it. It wasn't the baby but it was gross. It was hard and yuck and kinda the size and shape of a flacid penis (sorry, I know that's a gross description). No idea what it was. Very disgusting.

I'm wondering if the baby will still come out, or if it would've passed during the miscarriage and it was covered in clots so I missed it?

What happened to everyone else? Did anyone keep the baby??

I wish I had seen it/kept it/buried it. I regret not doing this.

Thanks,
Kelly.

i have had two mc's. One was similar to you in that i found out at the 12 week scan that bubs had died at 8 weeks 2 days. I had a DandC as it had been 4 weeks already and although a part of me is sad about not seeing the baby we had nowhere to bury it and also my DH saw it and said he couldnt really see anything anyway (sorry to be graphic) but they put the remains in a jar and put it next to us covered up) it's such a personal thing though but with my second i had a natural mc and although i wasnt in pain i know what you mean about not wanting to look.. i really didnt see anything resembling anything except a clot or two.. noone i know that had one has seen bub come out:(

i am so sorry it was so painful for you :(

anyway massive hugs if you have any questions or want to talk pm me..i remember very clearly how awful and hard it was:( and mostly what a shock as it was my first scan and it gave me such a shock(and made scans scary from then on) :(

Hi Kellyd

I was the same as you. Went for 12 week scan and found out baby has gone at 8 weeks. Decided to have a D&C as I had my first mc naturally and just didn't like all the bleeding. I said I didn't want remains but kind of regretted it. So I decided to get something in remembrance - an angel charm for my charm bracelet.

I also had a earlier mc at 8 weeks and baby had gone at 5 weeks and I think I might have seen something but it was too late and was already flushed down toilet before I realised.

So sorry to hear you lost your baby :( Just remember you can cry all you want. I just started crying at work the other day and mc was over 2 months ago. It was because a girl at work had started showing and she would have been due 2 weeks before me and someone asked if I was ok and I just started welling up (just hit a nerve I guess).

Thanks for all of your support and messages everyone. I am still bleeding, but it's much lighter now. I am having a scan tomorrow morning to make sure everything is out. I am still feeling sad that I wasn't able to keep my baby and that it ended up flushed down the toilet.

I have just got back from visiting a friend who is due on the 9th October. She was 1 week ahead of me. She is starting to show, and I didn't realise how hard it would be facing up to that. At first I thought I should be looking like that, and feeling so sad that I'm not. And then in the same instant I was thinking that I should've realised something was wrong because I wasn't showing as much as I should've. It was really upsetting seeing her beautiful tummy and not having one to match. I'm hoping I'm not going to be like this her whole pregnancy - hopefully just the shock of the first time will be it.

I'm feeling different emotions about my scan tomorrow - I'm half hoping everything is out so I can move on. But then half of me is hoping that the baby is still in there, so I will get to bury it when it does come out. So stupid I know.

I guess tomorrow will be closure.