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BuzzyBee 
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 Topic: HELP- I’m Struggling!!!!
Posted: 31 October 2008 at 4:41pm |
I've been slowly losing control over my 19 month old son ...he's turning into such a monster!!!
He was always such a smiley wee thing, half the day was spent laughing and getting up to mischief together, now he's always in a rotten mood & cries over the smallest of things.
The two things that stick out and that I'm having REAL trouble with are - NAPPY CHANGING TIME and MEAL TIMES!
Meal times have always been a bit of a battle, but after cutting down his night feeds (breastfeeds) drastically I saw a great improvement and now we've reverted back to the big tantrum except it starts when he sees the high chair or even with the slight mention of 'food'!
Nappy changing time is the WORST! Especially when its a dirty nappy, he won't stay still....screams blue murder and even with the help of my Mum pinning him down we still can't keep him in the one place. He kicks and screams till he starts choking and going purple ....he's so darn heavy and I hate having to firmly hold him down because he bruises so easily  (espesh his legs which tend to fly all around the place and kick me in the gut if I don't restrain them ...)
Ummmm HELP?!?!
It just feels like slowly everyday tasks are becoming harder and harder & we are moving out of my parents place soon, that is ...if I can get him past this phase and go back to changing a nappy on my own - what a blardy nightmare!!!!
Edited by BuzzyBee
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busymum
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Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 31 October 2008 at 7:20pm |
He's nearly 2, nearly as old as my Kryssi and it's like someone has told them both that they're nearly 2 LOL
For the nappy changes, pin his legs down with your own, and include his arms if you need to. Just ignore his protests and get the job done asap. Don't worry about the bruising for now, you'll know if you are being firm but not abusive!! Tell yourself that it's just for the short-term and if you're consistent with it, he'll give up on fussing about it soon enough.
I'm not sure what his problem is with the food issue. At that age my girls all had the biggest meal of their day at breakfast - dinnertime just must have been too tiring at the end of the day, or something. Do you eat together? And do you let him down from the table once he has eaten and is clean? that should help reduce some of the stress around meals, hopefully.
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BuzzyBee
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Posted: 31 October 2008 at 9:46pm |
I'm wondering if the distress over nappy changing times is in relation to his problem with his man bits, he has a lump on his penis that won't go away. Dr suspects it's a Cyst and will need to be removed, but I don't have medical insurance for Lucas so we are on a 6 month waiting list to see the Paed - what a PITA! I will monitor him for the next few days and if he keeps this up I'll see if we can get his appt. bumped up! It's just so out of character for him, usually he just needs a block or a toy car to keep him amused while I take care of the nappy changing! Sooo exhausting!
I see he has his two top eye-teeth coming through too - fun .
He ate his pasta tonight, the only food I can guarantee he will down.
Weird thing is that even though the last 3-4 days have been a total nightmare with the nappy changing and meal times, he slept through on Wednesday night and last night he didn't wake until 5 am (usually he's known to wake anywhere between 2-4 times a night demanding breastmilk ...) soo whilst I'm getting somewhere re:sleep and night times he's starting to play up in other areas ...oh man! 
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Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :)
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 31 October 2008 at 10:12pm |
Have you tried sitting him in a big chair at the table or do you think that might just be asking for trouble. I had similar issues with Michaela whenever she saw her highchair so I started feeding her at her little table initially and then at the big table and we haven't looked back.
I think you're probably right about the lump being the cause of your nappy issues. It may have been accidentally hurt during a past nappy change and now he's scared it's going to be hurt again. Poor wee guy. Unfortunately all the fussing and distress over nappy changes probably makes the chance of his lump being hurt even more likely. You just need to continue pinning him down as best you can. Maybe try bribing him with a stamp on the hand or a sticker if he's a good and still for his nappy change (and make sure you let him choose the sticker or hold the stamp while you change him so he's distracted by it).
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MissCandice
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Posted: 01 November 2008 at 8:03am |
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Hugs babe!
Kylah does the same thing when i change her nappy. Its hard, i put my leg over her body and change her that way, while shes screaming and crying and choking.
Meal times started to become like that so i bought her a wee table and chair set and she loves sitting there!
Hope you get it sorted soon hun!
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~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~
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Bizzy
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Posted: 01 November 2008 at 9:24am |
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if he is already stressed about change times then i dont think pinning him down is going to help any at all.
diane levy covered this yesterday at the parent and child show.
She uses the ask tell act scenario for this too.
her example was this...
say to child i am going to change your nappy now, if when you lay the child down they start to fight or whatever it is they do then you pick them up immediatley and place them in their cot (if still in one) or in their room and walk away... will prob only need to be for about 10/15 secs, enough for child to think hey, and get a droopy lip ... then when you go back in to get child say we dont do that when mummy is changing your nappy.
her theory is that they want to be with mum and when you withdraw yourself that is the motivation to change.
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lizzle
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Posted: 01 November 2008 at 11:29am |
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i LOVE dianne levy!
Hey Steph - the growing great boys book by Ian Grant is quite good for us mums in dealing with boys - great ideas for discipline - can't think of them off hand though
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jaycee
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Posted: 01 November 2008 at 2:05pm |
We had a terrible time with Amy and nappy changing for a while and Sophie is jsut starting to turn into a wriggling monster at change time . I found with Amy the most effective thing was to give her something to hold or play with - maybe get a special change time toy only to be used on the change table. Something with lights or noise is usually good. For ages we used a book that had buttons to press and that played nursary rhymes. Worked for AGES.
I must admit that I still use bribary with Amy - a cracker to nibble on whilst I deal with the other end keeps her quiet. 
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AnnC
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Posted: 01 November 2008 at 3:29pm |
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I went thru this with rhylz and persurverance (spell!!!) is what worked - if I gave in to him he would do it eve more - if I didn't he soon got the message (although at the time it felt like forever) someone told me to put a sticker on his hand while I change his nappy to distract him - he was s'pose to try and get the sticker off whilst I was changing him - didn't work for us but you could try that.
Best thing that worked was i told RHylz that we were going to change his nappy - if he made a performance when we lay him down - off to the naughty corner he went... if he acted up a second time after that off he went again - I would say when he came out of the naughty corner - are you ready to lie down and get your nappy done now.... it did work and now most times we have no drama with nappy change and if we do all we say is do you wnt to go to the naughty corner and thats enough to make him keep still.
eta: I am sure Sue Lych is good but I never liked the idea of using their BED as a punishment cause I felt it could lead to sleeping in it issues.
ETA: OMG don't know where I got Sue lych - I mean dianne levy LOL
Edited by AnnC
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Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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AnnC
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Posted: 01 November 2008 at 3:35pm |
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As for food - RHylz has his times he won't eat and its normally if A. hes been snacking and so not that fussed or B. hes tired and past being hungry... But on the other hand and i am sure it was around Lucas age again RHylz would refuse to eat nor sit in his high chair - so now we have a booster seat and he sits at the table with us. He loves being a big boy - and he did eat dinner with us before just in the high chair. he eats 9 times out of 10 better now he is sitting on his own chair.
Oh and bribery worked for a little while with us when he hadn't ate anything and we knew he should be hungry - If you eat this you can have a bikkie (or treat) afterwards.
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Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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pomikiwi
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Posted: 02 November 2008 at 3:15pm |
I totally agree with what Bizzy put in her post.
He's getting attention even if it's negative and thats all that matters. So i dont think pinning him down will work as he's getting heaps of attention.
Same with meal times, he knows it bothers you, he wont starve so dont stress if he wont eat. Hungry children will eat! Try and make it fun and only offer little amounts of food. Let him play with it and eat what he wants. As long as you dont stress about it he'll get the message thats it doesnt bother you. When he eats something make a huge fuss - Ignore the bad behaviours and praise anything you like. Good luck hun, parenting is a hard job!
Another good book is Nigel Latta - Before Your Kids Drive You Crazy Read This. It's a funny read too. 
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DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06
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HELP- I’m Struggling!!!!
