D and C Tomorrow :(

Hi There,

I found out last week that my baby stopped developing at 6 weeks. I am getting a D and C tomorrow and I'm really devastated and also really nervous.

None of this seems fair I'm so sorry to everyone else who has gone through this.

Is the D and C as scary as it sounds ?

Firstly huge 's for you.   It is awful when this sort of thing happens.

Just wanted to reassure you that the D & C is not too scary at all. When I had my last one the surgical staff were really lovely and did everything they could to put me at ease.

I'm sorry for your loss!

D&C's are not too scary.. they will give you a pill to soften your cervix then about half an hour later they will take you into the operating room, give you anesthetic and then you'll wake up 15mins later. Or, if you're not having anesthetic, they will give you some drugs that make you relaxed and you will hardly remember a thing. You should be able to go home within the hour.
Its not at all painful!


big    look after yourself.

I hope you feel better soon!

Good luck Princess_Bubs. I am in the same boat again and am hoping to get a D&C rather than do it naturally (have previously done both options). For me the D&C felt lots "cleaner" I guess - I knew what to expect and what would happen afterwards. It wasn't too stressful and the hopsital staff all looked after me very well.

Thinking of you today - hugs

I hope your op went ok yesterday Princessbubs. I know how much you are hurting right now. But yes it does get better with time. it definitely changes your outlook on things though. Thinking of you. xxx

Thanks for all your support everyone!!

The actual procedure was alot easier than all the anticipation! I had it done at Auckland Surgical Centre and the nurses were really nice ! Being knocked out was great! Physically I'm doing really well, and I am glad I didn't wait any longer for nature to take it's course, it was getting far too traumatic.

I've come back to work today and it's a real struggle. I was at home yesterday afternoon and I kept looking at the sky and talking to my lost Angel. I must be nuts, I wonder if any of you talk to your lost baby ? I found it helped in a really sad way.

I want to find some kind of memorial book to keep what few keepsakes I do have in a book, I know they make them as I saw them online before I ever thought I would go through this... Does anyone know what I mean ?

Thanks again for all the kind support, this is a great place to come at a really tough time

Hi there. So glad the procedure went smoothly and that you also appreciated the experience of being knocked out. I went to Auckland Surgical as well and like you found the nurses to be lovely.

Totally normal to talk to your lost baby! I wrote letters to mine. My husband and I buried ours at my parents' house the day of my d&c and I think that was really helpful - we both said the things we wanted to say to the baby and told to her (or maybe him, but I was SURE her) about how we would have loved to have been her mum and dad. I like your memory book idea and also recommend a little ceremony of some kind if you're up for it (eg you and your partner just saying a few words somewhere significant that you would like to remember your baby).

I think it takes a few days to sink in that your baby and all your hopes and expectations are gone, and then many, many more weeks and months to become a sad thing that happened to you once rather than a horrific loss you just suffered. No short cuts for grief eh, I wish there were but there just aren't.

Hopefully you have lots of real life support as well as cyber support, but if you need anyone to chat to face to face you could PM me and I'm sure we could arrange to meet up somewhere in Auckland.

Really feel for you at this time and in all the days ahead.

That is ironic the baby died when you had just seen a heartbeat mrsh, I'm not surprised you feel like someone is having a laugh. All these little twists and turns of fate.

Thinking of you both. Also hoping you'll manage to sleep well, since it's one of the few tolerable things in the first days. (I see you posted at 5.30 mrsh.)

I'm doing ok PB, yesterday felt great, today feel tired and lazy and angry at the world. I should be outside in the sunshine walking but instead I want to pour a glass of wine. Feck it, might just pour a glass of wine.
I hope the docs manage to sort out your problem and are able to help you through your next pg, they are pretty on to it these days - I'm also hoping they can perform some sort of miricle with me! Fingers crossed hey.