School Issues- long waffle

This is a long long long ranty waffle- you have been warned!

So Charlotte started full time school in September. We send her to a very expensive private school which she has been at for the past 2 years. She started when she was 2 1/2 part time in Nursery, moved up to Kindergarten last year when she was 3 1/2 which was 5 mornings a week. Up until this year we had been really happy- we have had the odd issue but as far as the structure and teaching within the school goes, we were pleased. Charlotte was learning heaps and things like her writing and reading were coming along really well.

Since she has been back this year she has a new teacher and is in a new class. We had a problem with the teachers assistant changing on a daily basis for quite a period of time but we finally had enough and addressed it and now they have put a stop to it. So at least that inconsistency has stopped.

I went along to her parent teacher interview a few weeks ago and saw samples of her work and was shocked. In most cases her work wasn't complete and it was the same standard, if not worse, than the work she had been doing the year before. It was certainly not improving! I was told that she doesn't listen in class and can be disruptive to the other students. I was shocked and horrified!
We came down quite hard on her initially and over the past few weeks we have noticed a real difference. We aren't really tough just insist that she listens to us when we ask her to do stuff and are using heaps of positive reinforcement. I personally think shes always been pretty well behaved but now she is really well behaved. In both of her extracurricular classes she is now one of the best students, she listens really well. I didn't get any feedback from the teachers so wrote a note in her reading book (we're told to do that) asking how she was going and if her behaviour was improving- I got back a note "It is".
She has been saying a few things that have been concerning us and we actually had a family member writing to us concerned after Charlotte told her she had been trying so hard at school but nothing was ever good enough. That shes a good girl now and always listens but she'll never be good enough for the teachers to give her a star sticker. Star stickers are given out when kids are good and she has been given one- all of the other kids have had at least 3 (when they get an award). I understand she had been playing up but she is no where near the worst kid- some of the boys are absolute monsters. Its like shes not good enough to get noticed for being bad, and not bad enough to get noticed for being good.

She often comes home telling me that she has tried to tell the teachers something but they ignored her (I know they can't always pay attention but this was never a problem with her old teachers and they should never ignore a hurt child!). She hasn't ever been picked for show and tell- they have 14 kids in the class so all the other kids have had at least one turn and she never has. Plus they watch TV EVERYDAY! Thats not normal is it? Every single afternoon for the past 2 weeks they have watched either Scooby doo or some other junk programme. I mean this is a really expensive private school- I have friends with kids at the state school down the road who have not once been shown TV.

I don't know what to do! Obviously we are going to go in a have a meeting with the teacher- I just feel like we are paying for the best and not only getting substandard service, they're actually doing more damage than good. She is way less happy and confident than she used to be.
   She tries to fake sore tummies so she doesn't have to go and clings to my leg at the door most days. She is bringing home pictures of scribbles like she used to do when she was 2, it used to be rainbows, houses and people with lots of colour and writing. The only thing that has changed is this new teacher (home life if anything is better now Kates less of a handful and I'm less stressed!).

What would you guys do? What would you say? I just want to keep her home all day and cuddle her At the moment I just feel like they're ruining her.

Wow, that is definitely a concern and you're right, something needs to be done.
Is it possible for you to talk to some of the other parents in her class and see if they are having similar problems? Surely they wouldn't be happy with them watching T.V. during school time every day either!
Maybe see if you can meet with her teacher again and explain it all to her as you have above, hopefully they will be receptive and take your concern seriously.
Otherwise you could ask to speak to someone more senior.
You have every right to expect better for Charlotte, you chose this school because you wanted to give her the best opportunities to learn and its not happening. I'd be very upset too.
Good luck Jennz, I hope things improve fast!

I'd take it higher too Jennz.  It seems that the teacher doesn't even care, and to have her showing tv shows at school in the afternoon would make me so angry (I'd be contacting other parents on that issue). 

Like G I had a teacher in Form 1 who hated me.  I was the 4th of my siblings to be in his class and he hadn't liked my sister and brothers who he thought were trouble makers so he took an instant dislike to me as soon as he saw my surname.  Like G he ridiculed me in front of my class mates and put me on the spot asking questions I couldn't know the answer too. 

He was my home room teacher and my teacher for maths which in a way was lucky because I'm naturally talented at maths so excelled anyway.  Nearer the end of the year I came 2nd place in a school-wide speech writing competition and his attitude to me seemed to change but it was too late by then.  Even though I only had him for a year he really tainted my school experience and affected my confidence.  My mum, in hindsight, wishes she'd asked for me to be put in a different class.

Good on you for recognising the problems that Charlotte is having and for doing something about it.  It's so important to address this situation now.

Edited by MrsMojo

I would take it to the Head teacher. That is not right in so many ways. The TV (excuse me but WTF at a private school???) the drawings, not being picked for show and tell - the whole thing is wrong and mean.

When I was about 7 my parents went to a parent teacher night and my mum was so shocked at what was being said that she actually asked the teacher to describe what I looked like to make sure they were talking about the same child. For a whole school year I just shut off as the teacher hated me and I was terrified of her. I entered the class with the reading ability of a 9yo and she had me standing up at her desk doing remedial reading - Dick and Jane books - I was so humiliated.

Get onto it as soon as you can as it can be so scary for a child if they are scared of the teacher as we tend to hold them in high regard. Just because they are a teacher (and at a private school) it does not make them a nice person.

Good on you Jennz, I really hope things get back on track for Charlotte now.
Good idea taking DH with you too!

Right so we've been in and talked to both the teachers and the head teacher. Since then we have found out more negative things and thing certainly don't seem to be improving. Her scribbling is continuing and we have now found out she is bottom of the class for reading (she was top of the class last year so thats a huge drop!).

I think we're going to have to move her