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Jennz View Drop Down
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    Posted: 03 December 2008 at 9:26am
This is a long long long ranty waffle- you have been warned!

So Charlotte started full time school in September. We send her to a very expensive private school which she has been at for the past 2 years. She started when she was 2 1/2 part time in Nursery, moved up to Kindergarten last year when she was 3 1/2 which was 5 mornings a week. Up until this year we had been really happy- we have had the odd issue but as far as the structure and teaching within the school goes, we were pleased. Charlotte was learning heaps and things like her writing and reading were coming along really well.

Since she has been back this year she has a new teacher and is in a new class. We had a problem with the teachers assistant changing on a daily basis for quite a period of time but we finally had enough and addressed it and now they have put a stop to it. So at least that inconsistency has stopped.

I went along to her parent teacher interview a few weeks ago and saw samples of her work and was shocked. In most cases her work wasn't complete and it was the same standard, if not worse, than the work she had been doing the year before. It was certainly not improving! I was told that she doesn't listen in class and can be disruptive to the other students. I was shocked and horrified!
We came down quite hard on her initially and over the past few weeks we have noticed a real difference. We aren't really tough just insist that she listens to us when we ask her to do stuff and are using heaps of positive reinforcement. I personally think shes always been pretty well behaved but now she is really well behaved. In both of her extracurricular classes she is now one of the best students, she listens really well. I didn't get any feedback from the teachers so wrote a note in her reading book (we're told to do that) asking how she was going and if her behaviour was improving- I got back a note "It is".
She has been saying a few things that have been concerning us and we actually had a family member writing to us concerned after Charlotte told her she had been trying so hard at school but nothing was ever good enough. That shes a good girl now and always listens but she'll never be good enough for the teachers to give her a star sticker. Star stickers are given out when kids are good and she has been given one- all of the other kids have had at least 3 (when they get an award). I understand she had been playing up but she is no where near the worst kid- some of the boys are absolute monsters. Its like shes not good enough to get noticed for being bad, and not bad enough to get noticed for being good.

She often comes home telling me that she has tried to tell the teachers something but they ignored her (I know they can't always pay attention but this was never a problem with her old teachers and they should never ignore a hurt child!). She hasn't ever been picked for show and tell- they have 14 kids in the class so all the other kids have had at least one turn and she never has. Plus they watch TV EVERYDAY! Thats not normal is it? Every single afternoon for the past 2 weeks they have watched either Scooby doo or some other junk programme. I mean this is a really expensive private school- I have friends with kids at the state school down the road who have not once been shown TV.

I don't know what to do! Obviously we are going to go in a have a meeting with the teacher- I just feel like we are paying for the best and not only getting substandard service, they're actually doing more damage than good. She is way less happy and confident than she used to be.
   She tries to fake sore tummies so she doesn't have to go and clings to my leg at the door most days. She is bringing home pictures of scribbles like she used to do when she was 2, it used to be rainbows, houses and people with lots of colour and writing. The only thing that has changed is this new teacher (home life if anything is better now Kates less of a handful and I'm less stressed!).

What would you guys do? What would you say? I just want to keep her home all day and cuddle her At the moment I just feel like they're ruining her.
Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3

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.Mel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .Mel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2008 at 9:37am
Wow Jen, you have every right to be concerned, something is going right in her class, and my initial though was that perhaps you need to go into class with her a couple mornings/afternoons a week and "watch" what is going on, see how the teacher is interacting with the kids and how Charlotte is with the teacher and the other children.

I would keep addressing it, you are right if you are paying the money for a private school you expect the best.

Hopefully some of the teachers on here will be able to help with suggestions.

Mr Mellow (16)
Miss Attitude (8)
Destructa Kid (3)

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caraMel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caraMel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2008 at 10:49am
Wow, that is definitely a concern and you're right, something needs to be done.
Is it possible for you to talk to some of the other parents in her class and see if they are having similar problems? Surely they wouldn't be happy with them watching T.V. during school time every day either!
Maybe see if you can meet with her teacher again and explain it all to her as you have above, hopefully they will be receptive and take your concern seriously.
Otherwise you could ask to speak to someone more senior.
You have every right to expect better for Charlotte, you chose this school because you wanted to give her the best opportunities to learn and its not happening. I'd be very upset too.
Good luck Jennz, I hope things improve fast!

Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CuriousG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2008 at 11:03am
I really want to give Charlotte a hug!

I don't have much advice to offer - just my own experience. For this reason, I will not be sending DD to a private school.

Mum and Dad sent me to a private school when I was in Form 1. From day 1 I tried my hardest, but I was essentially "picked on" by my teacher. I was split up from the 2 other girls from my primary school that also went there which made it very hard. I knew no one! My teacher would never choose me when hands were up for answering something or volunteering for something however, she would make me answer questions in front of the entire class that there was no way I could get right, then she would riddicule me. Pretty soon I became an outsider - there was another girl in the class that she did similar things too - I am not sure why were were the targets. I was never given a merit point from her (similar to the stars I guess).

I remember asking to go to the toilet (as we had to) and her saying in front of everyone "what is your problem - do you have a bladder infection?". I was so miserable that I used to ask to go several times a day so I could get out of the classroom!

I knew I wasn't stupid, despite getting cr*p grades from her - I knew this because every other subject I was taught by other teachers that year (we used to go to different classes with different teachers for science, maths, art, home ec etc), I excelled in!

I also used to fake illness, I used to cry each morning and not want to go to school - Mum told me years later that she used to go to work crying also and feeling really awful about it.

At the end of the year they removed me from the school despite the fact that that teacher was leaving. It was because by then I had very few friends and other kids were picking on me. I went to a normal intermediate and then college and did well there - I had a great circle of friends and my grades were great.

WHile I don't have much advice for you, if I was you I would definitely be outlining all of this with the school - NOT the teacher but higher. I know it seems like 'telling' on the teacher by going over their head but you know what, if they are doing a bad job, it needs to be pointed out so that it can be monitored. This is your little girls happiness and something isn't right! Try to nip it in the bud now before it gets worse!

And watching TV? No way. I think that is really wrong.




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MrsMojo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsMojo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2008 at 11:39am

I'd take it higher too Jennz.  It seems that the teacher doesn't even care, and to have her showing tv shows at school in the afternoon would make me so angry (I'd be contacting other parents on that issue). 

Like G I had a teacher in Form 1 who hated me.  I was the 4th of my siblings to be in his class and he hadn't liked my sister and brothers who he thought were trouble makers so he took an instant dislike to me as soon as he saw my surname.  Like G he ridiculed me in front of my class mates and put me on the spot asking questions I couldn't know the answer too. 

He was my home room teacher and my teacher for maths which in a way was lucky because I'm naturally talented at maths so excelled anyway.  Nearer the end of the year I came 2nd place in a school-wide speech writing competition and his attitude to me seemed to change but it was too late by then.  Even though I only had him for a year he really tainted my school experience and affected my confidence.  My mum, in hindsight, wishes she'd asked for me to be put in a different class.

Good on you for recognising the problems that Charlotte is having and for doing something about it.  It's so important to address this situation now.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jay_R Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2008 at 3:47pm
Poor wee Charlotte    This must be such a tough time for her. Big hugs little lady.

I think you definitely need to take things in hand with this teacher Jenna. It sounds to me like your little girl is being victimised by this teacher, for whatever silly reason she has in her head. A suggestion I have is to take along a collection of artwork of Charlottes from when she used to draw rainbows etc and some of her scribbles from now. Psychologists use drawing as a significant indicator of how a child is feeling. Going from rainbows to scribbles is pretty telling that something is not right for her at school. And I don't think you speak with this teacher any further - go straight to the Head. If the teacher is behaving this appallingly the Head needs to know about it. And if things don't get better then get her out of there quick smart. These first years at school determine a childs attitude to their future learning and if Charlotte gets the idea that no matter how hard she tries she will never be good enough then I'd be a bit worried that she may just stop trying.

Keep us posted, I'd really love to know what happens from here.

Big hugs to you too mummy.... it's heartbreaking when our babies are sad

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jaycee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 December 2008 at 7:44pm
I would take it to the Head teacher. That is not right in so many ways. The TV (excuse me but WTF at a private school???) the drawings, not being picked for show and tell - the whole thing is wrong and mean.

When I was about 7 my parents went to a parent teacher night and my mum was so shocked at what was being said that she actually asked the teacher to describe what I looked like to make sure they were talking about the same child. For a whole school year I just shut off as the teacher hated me and I was terrified of her. I entered the class with the reading ability of a 9yo and she had me standing up at her desk doing remedial reading - Dick and Jane books - I was so humiliated.

Get onto it as soon as you can as it can be so scary for a child if they are scared of the teacher as we tend to hold them in high regard. Just because they are a teacher (and at a private school) it does not make them a nice person.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jennz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 December 2008 at 2:29am
Those are some pretty awful stories! So sorry to hear you guys had to go through that    I really really hope that things aren't that bad for my little girl. To be completely honest I don't think they are being mean- I just think more neglectful than anything. Which is still horrible but I don't think they are picking on her as such.

I hate conflict or complaining about stuff- I hate being put in this position. We have just finished complaining about the fact that her teachers assistant was being changed on a daily basis so they weren't getting any consistency and now this. Theres no way that I should be having to go in there and say 'don't keep changing teachers' and 'don't let them watch TV at school every day'- these things are a given! I am so mad at them right now.

Anyway- I met with the teachers this morning. DH came in with me as I have a tendency to get upset They tried to just brush it away but we really insisted. So we've said we have real concerns about her self esteem and we want more positive reinforcement from them. We pretty much said everything I said in my OP so it was good to get it all off our chests and good that they heard it all. We said we want more feedback about her progress and for them to keep an eye on the whole situation. Plus we mentioned the TV thing but I am talking to the head teacher this afternoon so I will say more to her about that then. Hopefully now they're aware of it and they know we're keeping an eye on things it should improve.

Thanks for all the feedback guys
Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3

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caraMel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caraMel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 December 2008 at 9:23am
Good on you Jennz, I really hope things get back on track for Charlotte now.
Good idea taking DH with you too!
Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kellygirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 December 2008 at 10:24am
If you know some of the other parents from the class I would ask them how their children are getting on. The school might not "think" it is a problem if one parent says something, (eventhough one child being treated that way is one too many).

Is it possible for her to switch classes within the school?

Best of luck, give your girl some extra cuddles. I would def talk to the teacher and the school and sit in on classes if you are able to.
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Jennz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jennz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 December 2008 at 1:41am
Right so we've been in and talked to both the teachers and the head teacher. Since then we have found out more negative things and thing certainly don't seem to be improving. Her scribbling is continuing and we have now found out she is bottom of the class for reading (she was top of the class last year so thats a huge drop!).

I think we're going to have to move her
Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3

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caraMel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caraMel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 December 2008 at 9:59am
Oh that sucks!
You must be so disappointed and angry.
Big hugs Jennz!
Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:

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