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jacqui View Drop Down
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    Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:04pm
I am at my wits end and about to lose it!

My daughter is 22 months old and lately everything is a fight.
Changing nappies and getting dressed are the two main issues at the moment. It doesn't help that I'm 35 weeks pregnant and hubby is away on business for 2 weeks and I have to deal with this on my own.

I don't know what to do, she thinks it's a game when I tell her off and just laughs at me when I'm chasing her to get dressed which makes me even more upset, then I get angry when she kicks me at nappy time and gets my stomach, I end up in tears 9 times out of 10.

Normally I could cope but being this pregnant, I feel like I'm about to breakdown.
Any tips on how to address these issues would be grateful.
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Bizzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:27pm
if i wasnt going out during the day then my kids spent lots of time in their pj's... then i wouldnt have to fight with them. and i have found also giving them a choice - offer them two pairs of pants or tops or whatever and say which one do you want to wear? - that helped too. they do think chasing is a game, and the more serious you are the more a game they think it is. so unless you really have to be somewhere then if she wont co operate then i would say just leave her. she will soon come to you when you dont chase her...

good luck!       

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MrsMojo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrsMojo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:51pm
Oh no Jacqui, I think the toddlers are revolting (as in revolution - although the other definition may be appropriate also).

Michaela used to laugh at us too when she was told off, now she doesn't get told off, she gets a warning and then if she ignores it the first time we repeat the warning and count to 3, if she's not doing as she's told by then it's straight to time out.

I agree with Bizzy re: getting dressed. The other thing that works with Michaela is giving her a goal - we'll put your nappy on, then your clothes on and then we'll go to the park/feed the cat/have a bottle (whatever works)

Also check out "tearing my hair out" "somebody help me please" and "She did as she was told - shock horror" all in the toddler times forums today. I hope the suggestions in one of those threads will help and if not at least you know you're not alone.    

Edited by MrsMojo
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FionaS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:55pm
Elle is a few months younger so this may or may not help but I made a point not to chase her when I want her to get changed. If she gets up and runs away (usually laughing) I just sit in the same spot until she comes back. When she comes back I try to interest her in something and then proceed with getting changed. I find she runs back very quickly if I don't chase her. I think sometimes they think chase is a fun game so the more you chase the more likely they are to do it each time.

I think kids all have stages where these things are hard but it will pass. :) They do defintely go through stages that are more fiesty and more tricky but "this too shall pass".

Hang in there...must be really tough with the pregnancy and DH being away. Hugs.
Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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busymum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 April 2008 at 8:52pm
A child that age is learning that she can make decisions for herself. It can be frustrating and time consuming, but have a think on what she can decide on for herself. She just wants to be a "big girl". So, hold up two t-shirts and ask her which one would she like to wear today. Then hold it ready to put over her head but ask shall she put it on or shall mummy? Never give more than two choices at this age cause it can be confusing. But if you can insert several choices into a day then it will probably help calm her.

You can also start a heads-up system at about this age. So if you will soon be going out or doing a specific activity, let her know that she has 5 more minutes to play before we go out. Or tell her you're about to go [wherever] and can she be a big help for mum and find her shoes?
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Kellz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kellz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 April 2008 at 9:01pm
Yep I find the things that Teresa (Busymum) said, are really helpful. Isla was getting impossible at nappy change time,..but pre warning her what we are going to do,..plus involving her,..'can u get the wipes out for Mummy?,..good girl your such a good help for Mummy' etc really helps.

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FionaS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 April 2008 at 9:16pm
Yeah they totally love to help (most of the time). Be warned though that asking her to get her shoes may well result in her trapsing around the house in various pairs of your before finally getting her own LOL!!! So many distractions when you're a toddler.
Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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busymum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote busymum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 April 2008 at 7:45am
I just re-read what you wrote, I had missed the nappy thing. With that, if your child is squirming at nappy changes, you can stretch your legs out in front of you over the base of their shoulder - not hard but enough to stop them being able to move. It works quite well. I don't do it as a general rule, I always lay the child down for a change and only do the leg over arm thing if they squirm that time.
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jacqui View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jacqui Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 April 2008 at 7:57am
thanks for all the advice, this morning I will try giving two options as to what to wear and see how that goes!

Hmmm, the whole legs over shoulders idea made me laugh, I don't think my baby belly will allow me to tackle that one, I can just see myself getting stuck!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jay_R Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 April 2008 at 10:57am
We have the same battles at nappy changing and dressing time. It's horrible I actually have bruised breasts from his kicking out at me while he's on the changetable.

Really hope you are managing to get some things settled down, esp given you are in late pregnancy and running the house by yourself at the moment.

Big hugs
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Roksana View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Roksana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 April 2008 at 1:12pm
Zaara is the same, after her bath she jumpes all over the bed so that I cant catch her, put cream on her, dress her, dry her Hair etc. Some days I get her fav book and sit her down and get on with it while she is flicking thru the pages...but some days that doesnt work. I never chase her!!

Some days I tell her that if she doesnt get changed she will catch a cold and she will have to go to the Doctor...she rus back very quickly to me....and some days I say ok mumma is gone, you can run around naked...and oh and if you do pee pee on the carpet/bed I will be very upset and she comes to me to get dressed.

So different child, different days and different ways.


See what works for you!! Good luck...I know its not easy!

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