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Jay_R
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Topic: Tearing my hair out! Posted: 08 April 2008 at 10:23am |
Please, oh please can someone tell me that I am not the ONLY one with a complete terror on their hands at the moment!
My gorgeous little man, who really is fantastic about 90% of the time, has made me turn in to a "mummy who yells"! He is driving me to distraction and I find myself having to go in to time out just to stop myself from really losing it.
It's the tantrums! He's been throwing them since he was about 15 months old, but now they are at a whole new level. He gets so angry now that he actually attacks me - scratches, pinches, bites, hits..... I actually have little bruises on my neck from yesterdays pearler (cos mean mummy tried to get him in his car seat to leave daycare).
I don't believe in smacking, and we do time out which does work to some degree, but I am really struggling with him at the moment.
Anyone got any advice for a mum at wits end???
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My3Sons
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 10:33am |
alcohol??
Apart from that pearl of wisdom I dont have any helpful advice, as you know I have Mr almost 2 year old terror also. He hasnt physically lashed out but he can throw some doozies!! Did a great one the other day when we walked down to get Z off the bus, D in sling, L walked down driveway fine then REFUSED to walk back up again. Couldnt carry him as I had bubs, so frustrating! They seem to really know when they are pushing it and go the next step further! Leo is a stubborn little darling too.
Big hugs to you anyway, Im sure you are doing a fantastic job with your gorgeous wee terror!
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Jay_R
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 10:40am |
LOL, Char you know that I am a "mummy who drinks"
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 10:51am |
KiwiMummy wrote:
alcohol??
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Is that for Joshua or his mummy?
I really wish I knew the right answer. We have days like this too, I am against smacking but there has been at least one incidence lately when the thought crossed my mind or the alternative, leave her unstrapped and drive off like that (I was trying to get her into her carseat to leave the park). nb. I did neither and eventually got her strapped in and home ready for a new tantrum.
I think there's a number of things to consider:
1) Perserverance and patience - easier said than done when your toddler is screaming/kicking/pulling your hair etc.
2) Know the triggers. Michaela's biggest tanty's are always thrown when she's tired/hungry or both.
3) Give them warning. DH recently read that our little ones, at this age, need forewarning of things. eg. Now when we leave the park I tell her a few minutes before hand "it's almost time to go home now, would you like one more slide before we leave".
4) Provide clear instructions. eg. last night when she didn't want to lie down for her nappy change and was instead screaming for her bottle I kept repeating "nappy, then pjs, then bottle.... nappy, then pjs, then bottle" soon she had lain down and was saying mmm-hmm after each item as I went through our list of things to do.
5) Goal or something to look forward to. Last week when Michaela decided to sit in the middle of the footpath and not budge and inch (and I couldn't pick her up as I'd put my back out) I told her that we needed to get home to feed the cat and if she would walk to the train station she could feed him.
6) Distraction. I will do whatever works (toys, books, a stamp, chocolate). Although when she's throwing a full blown tantrum offering her these things is just giving her something else to throw at me.
I hope you can glean something useful from this.
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Rachael21
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Posted: 08 April 2008 at 2:36pm |
hugs claire I'm so in the same boat so don't have any advice.
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Jay_R
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Posted: 09 April 2008 at 10:53am |
Thanks for the excellent advice. I've also pilfered a bit from all the other threads on here around this - love the idea of giving him a choice where possible - this might actually work!
Seems to me like there are a lot of us going through similar battles with our wee monkey's at the moment. Is it the weather????
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Shorty
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Posted: 10 April 2008 at 12:14pm |
Aw Claire I am sorry you are having a rough time!
For us, I have choosen to pick my battles. Wise words I heard a long time ago on here from Bizzy!
I even said sternly to him last week that I WILL take him to DC in his PJ's if he wont get dressed....doesn't bother me.....
I am sorry I don't have advise other than support and a nice hug  followed by a nice glass of wine....
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Jay_R
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Posted: 10 April 2008 at 12:19pm |
I'm noticing a theme here.... ok, wine it is
Funny you mention about the going to DC in his PJ's - my BF and I were chatting the other night and I told her about J-Monk refusing to get dressed etc, and she told me she HAS actually sent her youngest boy to DC in his PJ's before
Might have to try it next time he refuses to get dressed!
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Bizzy
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Posted: 10 April 2008 at 12:20pm |
my son is in the car at the moment - we went out and came home and he packed a paddy cause i got him OUT of the car... lots of hysterical screaming and he finally got himself out the door and back in the car so i have strapped him in...
so sorry i cant help except to say AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! with and for you!
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Shorty
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Posted: 10 April 2008 at 12:48pm |
When we got to DC I said that we nearly came in our "jammies" she said they have had MANY MANY kids come like that!
Oh no Bizzy, we have that battle. sometimes it is easier to leave him. he comes out when he is ready....I suppose I shouldn't say that...woops
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Jay_R
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Posted: 10 April 2008 at 2:00pm |
Ditto the car seat issue - both getting him in and getting him out.
Is it just boys that do this kinda stuff???
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Rachael21
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Posted: 11 April 2008 at 2:31pm |
funny about the pjs a wee girl was at playcentre last week in her pjs.
Oh I hope its a boy thing I don't think I could handle another child like this. After being at mums and bubs the nappy shop for a good 15 minutes with Jack sitting in the pram I went to leave but he decided he wanted to play with the toys. I had to bribe him with red liquorice to get him back in the pram.
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meow
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Posted: 11 April 2008 at 3:25pm |
joshierocks wrote:
Ditto the car seat issue - both getting him in and getting him out.
Is it just boys that do this kinda stuff??? |
hahaha nope!
And can I saw that the 3 year old tantrums are much, much worse!
Because they start to argue, talk back and use things against you, as well as kick and scream!!!
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Rachael21
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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 9:22pm |
b*gger
I had this hope that he would grow out of it soon
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