Can you help me?

If you want Esther, I wrote a lot about IF in my blog when I first kicked it off - there should be a bit there for you.

Otherwise, unfortunately IF is a bit cliche. You have good days, and you have bad days, you have days where you feel like you're the only person on earth who has ever and will ever go through what you are. I have family who are incredibly supportive, and yet there is another significant family member who will change the subject or even end a conversation if our IF and IVF stuff comes up. IF is a terrible feeling of failure and loss and struggle, of helplessness, and sometimes, the hate towards others who have never been through it can take over if you let it.

Just a few weeks ago at work I gave someone some information about a course at work, and he asked me if it was school holidays (it was someone I had dealt with a bit). When I said that I had no idea, he said "Oh. You're one of those. Too busy enjoying the high life eh, to think about kids?" I have no idea whether he was joking, but I had to make a choice whether to abandon professionalism and rip sh*t out of him or not. I chose not, but it gives an example of how some people think about seeing 30-somethings without children.

Yet, this morning, my boss came in laughing because he'd heard something on the news about a hospital in Melbourne doing an embryo transfer, and the doctor dropped 7 of the 9 embryos. It was honestly so horrific, it was a bit funny - yet, it didn't upset me.

I think you develop a dark sense of humour a bit with IVF and IF.

You get sick of hearing 'It'll happen when it happens' and 'Just relax' and any number of other things to teh point where you want to thump someone but you can't.

... I could go on all day

Have a squizzy at my blog, seriously, the early posts. Also, other blogs worth looking at (internationally noted blogs too) are A little pregnant and So Close.

I don't mind looking at all and I'm happy to have input - bizzarely, from my perspective, it may help someone have a better understanding of IF along the way. My first thought when you said that feedback on your story that your IF character was 'cliche' was ... well, obviously that wasn't coming from an IF person!

I thought I'd add to this.
The things that bother me the most, is seeing young mothers with babies, ie Teenagers. In my small regional city there are lots! I get annoyed at them for dragging a baby round they don't appear to want. Or sitting there smoking cigaretters etc and telling the child they can't have something from $2 shop.
I get very envious and think why them and not me?
Another thing is my friends just 'getting' pg just like that...... We are all in our early-mid thirties.
Oh and people saying they got pg by 'accident'. I mean, it wasn't an accident you knew what you were doing! And last but not least, is the people that find out we are doing IVF and regailing some story about people they know who got pg naturally just before starting IVF or during the process, and how that'll probably happen to us. I get cross and tell them, 'blocked tubes is blocked tubes! They can't be unblocked, so that ISN'T going to happen to me. They still mutter, 'oh but it might'
Those are the things that seem to upset me.

Hi surfergirl
I don't want to put a dampener on things, but as an academic I feel obligated to tell you that your university would probably take a very negative view of what you're doing, in regards to asking people to tell you about their feelings and experiences, especially givne that this is a pretty emotive issue. Reading blogs is one thing, but when you actually take the step of asking people to give you information, you're doing research and all universities require that research be preceded by a robust ethics process
I know this might seem like overkill and pedantic - obviously if people don't want to respond to you they don't have to - but you could get in trouble for conducting research without following the appropriate process. Just a word of warning.
By all means read blogs etc though.