Clingy Little Girl

DD is 19 months and has always been a little bit clingy to me - Im a SAHM and dont spend a huge amount of time away from her. She has been looked after by others (although not for a full night) and is quite happy with that for the most part.

Recently she has started getting a lot worse with her clingyness. I leave the room to go to the loo when its just me and her at home and shes fine - carries on playing, no drama. But when I do the same if DH/anyone else is home, she screams, cries and throws a massive wobbly as if Ive abandoned her, usually only calming down when I come back. This was manageable and she was getting better - not happening every single time like it was for a while there.
Settling her to sleep was an issue as well - needed me to lie down with her until she was well asleep, which then turned into me having to repeat the process once or twice a night. This has finally been sorted with VR.

The worst part has been the last week or so. Suddenly she refuses flat out to go in her pushchair while in town. I thought to myself 'ok well shes a toddler, perhaps its just her age', but now she is also refusing to walk anywhere and will throw a tanty about being in the backpack about half the time (used to love either option - infact usually insisted on walking - and we often go wandering down the farm or to the cowshed to visit/help dad with her in there). All she wants when we are out of the house is for me to carry her - no one else will do for more than a few minutes. We will start walking, I try to hold her hand like we would before but she will instantly cry, scream, try and climb up me to get me to carry her. I either have to put up with the screaming, go back home (not always an option) or give in and carry her - not easy with a rather large baby bump and her being 12-13kg and its exhausting!
A few friends have commented in the past that when they were heavily pregnant with their 2nd that similar happened (although I cant remember specifics, if they snapped out of it or if something was done to help).

Has this happened to you while pregnant? What did you do (if anything)? Any advice welcome

My little girl was (and still is) very clingy. She's at daycare 3 days a week and she goes to her dad overnight one night a week but I am her favourite person and she follows me wherever I go. She's my little shadow. I found this particularly overwhelming around the age your little one is when I couldn't even go to the toilet by myself or pop downstairs for something. I went to a parenting talk by Dianne Levy just after my little girl turned 2 and she is a big proponent of what she calls "boring cuddles". Basically when the child starts to get wound up you just cuddle them without saying anything for as long as it takes for them to feel better and let go. sounds weird but it works with my daughter. When she starts getting wound up about whatever (like your little girl wanting to walk but then demanding to be carried) I just bend down to my girl's level and hug her for as long as it takes for her to stop and pull away from me. This seems to settle her (and me too) and sometimes its enough for us to continue on our way. Sometimes I have to repeat the process again and again but generally it works.

I think the more calm boring cuddles my DD gets the more secure she feels and she behaves better if that makes sense? Also she does tend to move in and out of this phase a bit, sometimes she is worse than others (most of the time I get to go to the toilet by myself now though!)

Here's a link where Dianne Levy explains the whole boring cuddle theory Boring cuddles

Hope that helps

Lol KerryLea - I often turn tables during a tantrum and it gets a really suprised look and a back down every single time Gabrielle can be in the middle of screaming about wanting to do something herself and I say something like oh it must be so frustrating for you to let me do it awwww and give her a big hug and her mouth falls open in shock (especially if I've been yelling)

Did your daughter suffer much from seperation anxiety when she was a baby? I seem to remember something I read about it peaking again at 18 months or so and then again between 2 & 3. Not that it makes it any easier to deal with necessarily but I found that understanding why Gabrielle was like this helped me to empathise with her. I do sometimes think that she was put on this earth to teach me patience though!