Nappy Changes

Right, I'm positive this is quite normal but any ideas would be muchly appreciated.

I have a almost 13 month old, for the past 3 months nappy changes have become quite a task.

Have tried everything I can think of, TV as a distraction. Special items that he is allowed to hold only during nappy change time. Someone is trying to distract him. I have tried nappy pants. I have tried changing him while he is standing up. I have tried saying "no" or "thats not very nice."

It all pretty much ends the same way. MASSIVE TANTRUMS. On the odd occasion where he has a good nappy change I do praise him afterward, telling him what a good boy he is and give him lots of cuddles.

I usually try to persevere, but when he becomes excessively difficult to deal with (eg my fuse becomes short) I give up and walk away. Sometimes this ends in a tantrum where you can't walk away and leave him (he starts smacking his face on the floor).

I'm contemplating attempting to potty train him over summer, but is 13months to early?

Any other ideas would be appreciated.

Hey Tessie,

Sounds like a bit of a nightmare! But, it also sounds like you are doing all the right things - I would suggest distraction first off (which you are obviously trying!), and to walk away when the tantrums get too bad - more attention is just going to reinforce the behaviour as an attention grabber - and there are just times when you need to walk away and take many deep breaths!!

Some ideas I've seen for the tantrum head banging if you need to walk away but don't want him to hurt himself is to put a beanbag (I'd suggest you use one of the easy clean indoor/outdoor ones so if you have not managed to get a nappy on him it won't matter if he pee's on it!!) in the corner and lay him face down on it so he is not head banging on a hard surface. You can also use this as a 'time out' corner so he knows the tantrums are part of 'not ok' behaviour...

As for the nappy changing - do you have a specific changing station? I've found it helps to have everything in one place (I use a change table) to my little one knows it is nappy change time, but also so everything is on hand and it gets done quickly!

Also, maybe he is not comfortable in the type of nappy you are currently using? I've ended up using different brands and sizes at different ages to get a better fit or stop leaks at night... Has he had any nappy rash? Maybe he is associating nappy changes with discomfort from rash; or maybe he doesn't like the wipes, or the barrier cream you are using? Just some ideas - maybe changing it up might help?

I also use re-usable nappies (during the day & disposables at night or when going out) & get my little one to help me load the nappies in the washing machine and hang them up so they are not a yeucky, untouchable thing with a negative connotation to them.

Something else I just thought of is maybe getting him a teddy or doll of some type that he can put a nappy on and change himself? That would help with his dexterity & may also de-mystify what nappy changes are all about?!

As a last resort you could also ask your Plunket nurse or doctor to check if he might be carrying a urinary infection that is causing him discomfort or (if he is not circumcised) maybe he is experiencing some discomfort with his foreskin?

As for potty training, I started at 12 months by just having my little one sit on a potty at every nappy change time and praising when something happened, but not fussing if something didn't! We started getting wees on the floor at every bath time, so it seemed like a good time to introduce a potty in a non-stressful, non-pressurised way! Keep some (plastic & washable!!) 'potty toys' at hand - it can take a while for bub to relax enough for something to happen & inevitably some of the toys will end up in the (used!!) potty!

We've also taught our little one some sign language and from about 16 months started getting the wash/bath sign as an indicator of needing to go to the loo - or that a dirty nappy needed changing!

Signing has been a great way to know what bub wants before they are able to talk and it seems to have eased some of the frustrations of not being able to communicate with us - and it's a fun game to play with little ones! I've also been told it's a great way, when you are out and about or visiting, for kids (even when they are older) to let you know they need to go to the loo without feeling embarrassed!

Lastly I've also read someone saying not to wait until summer to start potty training as the cold can add a little incentive to get the business done quicker!!

Good luck and when that fuse burns down and you want to have a little cry, try remember that nothing lasts forever and this too will pass!!

Can't comment on the TT as we haven't gone through that yet but Jude went through the hating nappy changes stage too. Teaching him the signs for "change" and "nappy" really really helped. Also explaining each stage of the nappy change. We ask first if he needs a change first (using the sign language as well as the question), then go through the stages, telling him what we are doing as we go and saying "not finished" and reminding him that we are still changing if he tries to wriggle, then letting him know we are all finished by saying that and using the sign for "finished".

Having a designated changing area helps also - he is sometimes less cooperative if I am trying to change him in the middle of the floor instead of on his change mat - so we have a permanent change station area on the floor in our lounge.

I don't know if he just grew out of the stage or whether what we were doing helped but now he will lie quietly on his change mat on the floor while we go and wet his wipes if we have forgotten to do it beforehand - and he is not a boy who usually stays still!

Failing that - when Jude used to REALLY try to get away and was crying/tantruming etc but he really needed a change. I would sit on my butt in front of him with my feet on top of his upper arms so he couldn't get away - it left both my hands to do the changing as quickly as possible. Got that tip off another OB member.

Distraction always worked best for me, like if DD was intently playing with a toy or watching tv, I would do it during that as she almost didn't notice!

Singing worked for us. At about 14 months it was if your happy and you know it. DS was soo busy clapping hands, wiggling ears and poking tongues to notice the nappy was being change.

Now at 16mths the singing is no longer working if he's tire, but get a toy in each hand and if I'm quick enough...altho often he is running off with only one side done up!

Ughh, I think nappy change tantrums are one of the most infuriating of all! Especially when it's a poo and you have no option but to change it then and there
We had (or I should say, still have) the same problem, although now at 20months it is probably only 30% of the time as DD 'permits' me to change her sometimes now. It either goes really smoothly or really bad! But for the most part it's improved so hopefully things will get better eventually for you too. I find the tantrums do seem to come in phases, we'll have a week or so of big resistance then next could be a dream.

Glad it is not just me. I have tried all the above and my little toad is still battling with me, she is now 14 months. My mother in law thinks that she will get her potty trained as it is such an ordeal... however we will purserve.

I try to stay really calm and change her standing up with some tv or music to distract her.

Not much help really for you as you you sound like you are doing all the right things.

I must say though this is a pretty long stage... now nearly 6 months...

Keep calm!

Does your baby like to read? Books work with my little guy. But if he does cause a fuss or if he kicks me (which he has started to do) I pick him up calmly and say 'that's not ok' or 'I'm not in the mood to mess about' and put him in to his cot (which is next to the change table) and say 'I'll come back when you're ready for a nappy change.' I go back after about 30 seconds and say 'are you ready to lie still now'? then get him from his cot and if he still kicks - back he goes in the cot and we do it all again! This is what Diane Levy reccomends and it does seem to work at a young age so long as the message is simple. If the cot is far from the change table it might be too confusing. Good luck!