Getting back on the rollercoaster...

is something i'm really scared of.....

We would dearly love another baby at some stage. We have not been trying but not preventing since DS was born pretty much but it looks like we are going to have to head down the same path we did for DS as I still haven't had even 1 measley AF yet *sigh* (I have PCOS)

I'm just really scared to start the journey all over again as I know the heartache, hope and dissapointment that may very well be ahead of us. And because of that I cant bring myself to actually say we are officially trying as it just seems like way too much pressure.

But then on the other hand I'm lucky enought to have experienced recieving the prize at the end of the journey and I know it's the most amazing one and totally worth the ride. I wouldn't change anything about TTC our DS as I think it has made me appreciate him, and being a mum that much more. and we are truely blessed to have him. Also at the end of the day if he is all we can have then we are happy and super greatful as he is happy and healthy and pretty cool if I do say so myself hehe and not every one is as lucky as us to even have 1...

I actually dont know why i'm writing this I'm not down about it (yet lol ) I think it's just been playing on my mind a bit latley as I was probably hoping I was going to be one of the 'lucky' ones who got pregnant 2nd time round pretty easy after ya body had done it once. But I guess not lol. Maybe i'm in need of getting it off my chest or in need of hearing some hopeful positive stories...I dont know.....I guess i'm just probably a bit emotionally torn between it all if that makes any sense....


ETA: eeek bit of a ramble sorry...if you're still reading that is hehe

Edited by noodle

Noodle - I can entirely understand where you are coming from as I feel EXACTLY the same.
Our DS was five years in the making and we have been not preventing since he was born as well. I am exactly like you and thought maybe if my body had done it once it would be quick the second time around - everyone tells you that it happens like that haha!!
It doesn't seem to be the case and we are back onto drugs now.
But I can honestly say while there is still disappointment every month that passes it is not nearly as bad as the first time round as I am so so grateful and feel so lucky to have him and just look at him and know that others are still struggling and have that awful "what if it never happens?" feeling.
I think the thought of not having siblings is not nearly as devastating as the thought of never being a parent....
Good luck!

I understand how you feel too Noodle. And I'm sure lots of woman feel exactly the same way. Gosh, I have found this ttc journey really hard, and it's no. 3!! But, what keeps me going, as you said, is that awesome prize at the end... for me it's all worth it!! Good luck hun, I hope that it does not take too much longer for you to get your bfp..... and in the mean time, as you know, there are lots of awesome spportive woman here to help you along your journey!!

Thanks Nicolaann and good luck to you too, I hope it doesn't take you too long on clomid to get pregnant with number 3 (and/or 4 )

wow mountaingirl thats really intersting concieving you're DS whilst on buserelin! how amazing!! fingers crossed for you that clomid does the trick for you so you dont have to go back down the IVF route.
So how does the public funding work second time round? (we have an appointment next week with fertility plus to see where we stand in regards of funded treatment, i'm not expecting to be funded for anything until we have been trying for 3 years though (from what I have read). But I just wanted to get an appointment with them to see where we stand so I know time frames and stuff if that makes any sense lol)

oooh and in other news haha I got my 1st AF since having DS on Saturday so my body must of knowen I was frustrated with it and wanted to show me it does still work hahaha

Edited by noodle

Good luck for concieving number 2 Caronz, I hope it's a bit eaiser for you this time