https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Sat, 04 Apr 2026 00:41:23 +0000 Mon, 10 Oct 2011 21:45:47 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=40684 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1397280&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1397280 Author: lisa85
Subject: 40684
Posted: 10 October 2011 at 9:45pm

It took me weeks to really bond. I'd say the twins were a good two or 3 months old before I really fell in love with them. That's not to say I didn't love them I just wasn't all mushy and bonded to them emotionally in the first couple of months. I was on auto pilot feeding, changing and sleeping. I didn't have much time to be mushy lol. But I think a lot of Mums have this. I felt a need to protect them and I found taking care of their needs a very natural and easy transition. But the lovey mushy bonding thing took time for me. It was ok though I didn't have any depression and both me and the babies were happy and healthy ;) I was just VERY busy!

Edited by lisa85]]> Mon, 10 Oct 2011 21:45:47 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1397280&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1397280 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1397064&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1397064 Author: Evelyn4409
Subject: 40684
Posted: 10 October 2011 at 12:34pm

Thats very handy to know AbzandH. I know this baby is going to be well-loved with the amount of family we have around us. I know my mother in paticular (god bless her though, because she will just be wanting to help as much as she can) will be taking the in-your-face approach to visiting.....    So maybe making sure I have enough alone time with baby and hubby together will help with bonding.

Hopes - I totally know what you mean. Looking at the father of some child and thinking 'OMG you are a moron - I could never do that'. But I am glad that everyone has the same opinion that it will all change when you have your own. ]]> Mon, 10 Oct 2011 12:34:48 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1397064&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1397064 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1396167&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1396167 Author: AbzandH
Subject: 40684
Posted: 07 October 2011 at 8:48am

The only thing I suggest is in the early days, really limit the visitors!! I felt I didn't bond straight away because every other man and their dog was there holding him, changing him, passing him back to me for a feed (which was going horrible at the time) at times I thought he didn't even need me apart from feeding. And then when I got tough with all the visitors it just clicked! And as much as I loved living at the parents with my bf for the first year, as soon as we moved out we all connected so much stronger!

Oh and there's only a small handful of kids I like hahaha ]]> Fri, 07 Oct 2011 08:48:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1396167&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1396167 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1396013&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1396013 Author: Hopes
Subject: 40684
Posted: 06 October 2011 at 6:57pm

Oh, don't worry, Evelyn. I wanted kids a lot, but distinctly remember being pregnant and having my sister, BIL and some friends with two young children round for tea. BIL was making animal noises and funny faces to crack the kids up, and I was thinking 'there's no way I can do this. I dont' even feel the slightest bit tempted to make animal noises or anything equally silly'. I mentioned it to Mum, who said 'you wait, it's different when it's your own baby'. And just yesterday I must have spent a good quarter of an hour making monkey noises because it was cracking the boy up - things change

Edited by Hopes]]> Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:57:04 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1396013&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1396013 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395994&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395994 Author: MissAngel
Subject: 40684
Posted: 06 October 2011 at 6:06pm

I am the least maternal person I know. I never liked other peoples children, I hated being in the mall with kids everywhere and then I got pregnant. Something in me changed (hurray hormones) and as soon as I held my son for the first time, everything just clicked.
I had the fear that I wouldnt bond with him because I had a c-section and chose not to have skin to skin straight away. Breast feeding failed almost instantly and I started to freak out. Within a week, I was a doting parent cooing and goo gooing at him like anyone else. I think it's just one of those instantanious things that happens when you give birth - be it natural or c-section. Hormones are your friend! ]]> Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:06:15 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395994&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395994 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395748&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395748 Author: Evelyn4409
Subject: 40684
Posted: 06 October 2011 at 9:04am

Oh good - that's a massive relief! Thanks ladies ]]> Thu, 06 Oct 2011 09:04:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395748&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395748 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395611&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395611 Author: n00b_mum
Subject: 40684
Posted: 05 October 2011 at 8:26pm

Just saying out loud to her (while looking her in the eyes if possible - if they are open or looking at me)
"I Love You!"

It really helps me when I'm rather frazzled and she is in a grump just to stop and remember - I love her, totally and utterly. I may not love what she is doing right then and there, I may not love the lack of sleep or how hard I'm finding being a mum, but I love her.

I too was terrified that I would not bond with my baby - however once I got over the initial shock of giving birth, and the sleep deprivation, I can now say I'm totally smitten! ]]> Wed, 05 Oct 2011 20:26:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395611&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395611 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395521&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395521 Author: Nikki
Subject: 40684
Posted: 05 October 2011 at 5:25pm

Evelyn - I was the same - but had no problem bonding with my own bubs! I still don't really like many other kids! lol. But I adore my kids and some of the coffee group kids and my nieces.

I didn't do anything specific, the bond just developed over time. It was probably more "instant" with my second child as I knew what the bond would be like. ]]> Wed, 05 Oct 2011 17:25:21 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395521&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395521 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395453&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395453 Author: pudgy
Subject: 40684
Posted: 05 October 2011 at 3:17pm

Evelyn it's a totally different ballpark once your own babe arrives

We had lots of skin to skin in tne early days, lots of touch and cuddles, eye contact and talking.   Co-sleeping/ bed sharing and babywearing are also fantastic ways of promoting attachment.   Just make sure you are doing these safely

]]> Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:17:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395453&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395453 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395451&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395451 Author: MrsMJD
Subject: 40684
Posted: 05 October 2011 at 3:12pm

I'm learning new ways everyday. Sometimes it's something as simple as watching her sleep. ]]> Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:12:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395451&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395451 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395442&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395442 Author: Evelyn4409
Subject: 40684
Posted: 05 October 2011 at 2:57pm

To be honest - I am VERY worried about not being able to bond with baby. I am not by any means a 'child friendly' person. Like, I don't know what to do when my friends bring their kids around. I'm not one to ask to hold a child, I'm usually forced into it, and then I just look at it and become all 'well, what am I meant to do with it??'

]]> Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:57:51 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395442&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395442 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395427&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395427 Author: nat1234
Subject: 40684
Posted: 05 October 2011 at 2:34pm

Lots of eye contact and lots of time. I didn't bond with my second baby straight away, it took about 3 weeks, which was terrifying at the time. I didn't tell anyone, not even my husband and pretended like everything was fine. I had quite a traumatic birthing experience and I think that was the cause. Then one day, it dawned on me that I did love her and it was such a relief. I think "fake it till you make it" was my motto and it worked in the end, now I can't imagine not loving her and it feels like that was someone else. Not everyone bonds with their baby straight away (like I did with my first) and I think it just takes lots of time and contact, breast or bottle feeding, snuggling, bathing and talking.

Edited by nat1234]]> Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:34:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395427&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395427 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395419&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395419 Author: Renata85
Subject: 40684
Posted: 05 October 2011 at 2:25pm

How do you promote good bond between you and your baby? ]]> Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:25:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40684&PID=1395419&title=bonding-with-your-baby#1395419