OHbaby! Forums : How is everyone coping?

How is everyone coping? : I think you should not attend,...

Thu, 31 Oct 2013 14:00:13 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 31�October�2013 at 2:00pm

I think you should not attend, as you don't want any reason to make you feel worse.

Yeah it would be ideal if your husband chose not to continue being friends. But men see the world differently to us.

No, your thinking isn't distorted at all.

How is everyone coping? : Hi everyone. I haven't...

Mon, 21 Oct 2013 17:52:01 +0000

Author: MalibuBarbie
Subject: 36210
Posted: 21�October�2013 at 5:52pm

Hi everyone. I haven't been on here for quite some time. I really thought I was finally happy. It turns out I still seem to get so worked up over the smallest things. My husband and I got invited to a wedding. He's in the bridal party, I am not. That is not the problem. It's for a couple who I feel have never really liked me. Some things have happened in the past which sort of destroyed my friendship with them. My husband doesn't like what they have done to me but befriends them anyway. I feel like they only invited me because I am the wife of their friend. I feel a duty to go because my dh is going but I really don't want to as I feel like I will be isolated and made to feel ugly as usual. I feel like I shouldn't have to be put through that. I also can't understand why dh would be friends with people who treat his wife so badly. This has started off ww3 at home. Things just keep going round and round in my head. It has really stressed me out to the point where I can't stop thinking about it! Please help me to put things in perspective. What can/ should I do? Is my way of thinking distorted or what?

How is everyone coping? : Oh I'm so glad to hear you...

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 16:31:11 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 19�March�2013 at 4:31pm

Oh I'm so glad to hear you have having a better day

The FB group is pretty small, only 4 of us. But yeah, it's there if ever you want to join.

Glad to hear my blog made you feel less alone.

How is everyone coping? : Hi Escadachic, Sorry for the slow...

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 13:59:15 +0000

Author: SimplySal
Subject: 36210
Posted: 19�March�2013 at 1:59pm

Hi Escadachic,
Sorry for the slow response. Its been a full on weekend with a sick baby and more rows and arguments. I think however we've had a bit of a breakthrough and I think Im finally being listened to.
I also need to make an appt with the doc and try to talk about it out loud with someone and see what they say.
Thank you so much for responding to me though. I have read through your blog so thank you for that. It has made me feel less alone and today Im having a really good day...despite the baby still being ill and cabin fever setting in. :-D
Im not quite sure Im ready for the FB group just yet...I will keep it in mind however. Its taken me 5 months to get this far!
Thank you again for understanding. It is much appreciated.

How is everyone coping? : Hi Sarah Yeah this thread is totally...

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 13:00:36 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 14�March�2013 at 1:00pm

Hi Sarah

Yeah this thread is totally still going. Just because people don't post much doesn't mean they aren't following it.

Like you were saying, no-one mentions the D word and many mum's wouldn't openly admit to having PND. Yet I found when I did tell people I was suffering from it, after having my 2nd child, people on occasion did just quietly admit to having gone through it too.

It's the whole pride thing. As it's always put across by some many mum's that all is good and they are coping and like they wouldn't ever being feeling they way we do.

I can so relate to what you are saying about the hormones and ups and downs you experienced while you were pregnant. I went through that with my 1st and at times go through that with #3, which I'm pregnant with now.

And yeah, caused issue with my partner and I as well. We are still together thankfully. But yeah, I can relate to the wanting to run away or just getting in the car and driving off. I did that a fair few times after having my 2nd.

I too try and hide my depression and cry in private. I don't always like to admit I'm not happy or coping. As I get sick of going back to that feeling.

If you want, you can have a read of my blog. You just click on my name and there should be a link in there somewhere. I started the blog to share my experience of PND.

We do have a secret FB group if you'd like to join. So that means no-one in your friends or family can see you are in the group or posts, because it's secret. Which is great, as you can share honestly in there.

Good on you for posting how you are feeling, that is a big step. As I can guarantee their are others feeling exactly the same, but just not wanting to share with others. The whole pride thing. I guess sometimes we just don't want to admit we feel this way, as sometimes when we do, we don't get the understanding and acceptance we need.

How is everyone coping? : Hi Ladies & Gents (if there are...

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 12:14:51 +0000

Author: Sarah108331
Subject: 36210
Posted: 14�March�2013 at 12:14pm

Hi Ladies & Gents (if there are any here),
Im not quite sure that I have PND but I thought that by coming here and writing things down and possibly hearing what some of you guys have to say I may get some answers.
Im a long time lurker of the forum - first time poster.
Ok so here goes - forgive me if I end up on a long winded tangent!

I had my beautiful daughter in October 2012. She was a surprise and although initially I was shocked I soon realised how much I wanted a baby. I soon got excited and when the 12 wk scan came back clear I shouted from the rooftops about being pregnant. Except it didnt last. By about 20 weeks I was feeling sad all the time, fighting with my partner and not really coping too well with all the changes that were going on in my body.
I spoke to my LMC (who was amazing) about these feelings and my partner spoke to her also about it. At the time we put it down to homesickness as Im from overseas and we have no family here in CHCH. Things got a wee bit better after I spoke to my LMC and I started to feel happy again. I got sad again at about the 30 week mark and my gp took note and told me to contact her if I continued to stay that way. The problem is that I was going from High to Low in a matter of days and decided that it must be hormones.
My daughter was born via emergency c-section - it was scary and traumatic and my partner and i were totally not prepared for that to happen. Again my midwife was amazing and spoke to us both about why on many occasions over the following 6 weeks.
I definately had the blues in the days following the birth - my mum and dad came to visit from overseas and I thought that I was getting through it with their support.
Its now 5 months on and every weekend without fail I have a fight with my partner. We both cry and we both feel bad and guilty and I have twice now gotten in the car and driven away...leaving him with our beautiful girl and no notion of where ive sped to or when Im coming back.
He works so hard at being a dad and works so hard at being a partner. If it wasnt for him Im sure we'd live in a pigsty and be starving. He is amazing but I dont give him half enough credit as I feel so hard done by myself but for reasons I dont know.
I feel sad all the time these days. I cry on a daily basis but try to keep it private as I dont want to scare him or make him feel bad. He tip toes around me sometimes and that drives me even more mad. I just want him to be my partner again...I want to be me again....not just someones mum and not just his stay at home help.
I dont really have anyone to talk to about it. All the other mums I know seem to be doing fine and while we talk about things...no-one has really mentioned the dreaded D word and I feel sometimes like I just have to "keep up with the joneses".
Anyway, Im not even sure if this post is still going or if I should even be posting here.
I hope all of you fabulous mums are doing well. My girl is screaming again so its time to put back on the mummy hat!
S

How is everyone coping? : If you feel like you are going...

Sat, 09 Feb 2013 08:37:05 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 09�February�2013 at 8:37am

If you feel like you are going downhill with your mental health, definitely let the midwife know if you are under a midwife and if you're not yet, let your GP know. As if it's pregnancy related, doctor's visits should be free.

I know how you feel aye. I had antenatal depression with my first(which is during pregnancy), but no PND. I got severe PND with my 2nd and now I'm pregnant with #3, I am worried about the possibility of developing it again.

I have at least been referred to MMH(maternal mental health) already, as I've been struggling with my depression during this pregnancy.

The only advice I can offer if be prepared for the possibility and look out for the warning signs and make sure you tell your midwife if you feel you might be developing it again.

How is everyone coping? : Hi everyone. I wasn't diagnosed...

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 21:38:30 +0000

Author: Holly105406
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�February�2013 at 9:38pm

Hi everyone. I wasn't diagnosed with pnd with my first but I'm now 100% sure I was. I recovered over about three years but I'm now in my first trimester of my second pregnancy and worried it'll happen again. I think last time I felt so ashamed of myself, like I couldn't admit such a thing to even my husband, so didn't tell anyone what I was feeling. I had terrible thoughts especially in the first 18months, it really effected my relationship with my son. Any advise?

How is everyone coping? : I'm trying to get support....

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 17:01:18 +0000

Author: confused???
Subject: 36210
Posted: 28�November�2012 at 5:01pm

I'm trying to get support. Still waiting to get an appointment with a councilor (however you spell it). I have been waiting sort of on and off for about 9 months to a year. Yay for you finally getting an appointment. It's so frustrating having to fight to get help. My plunket nurse is great.

How is everyone coping? : Yup! Family put their feet in...

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 16:46:56 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 28�November�2012 at 4:46pm

Yup! Family put their feet in their mouths a lot. Don't think before the speak or necessarily apply this thing called tact.

Do you have any mental health sector support?

I had 'some' when my youngest was an infant, but that didn't help a lot.

I need some desperately and have done for over a year.

And finally after months of hounding the doctors I have an appointment tomorrow.

How is everyone coping? : I didn't want people knowing...

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 16:01:03 +0000

Author: confused???
Subject: 36210
Posted: 28�November�2012 at 4:01pm

I didn't want people knowing because it seems like what I feared would happen is happening with my family etc as in anything I say now isn't true, has no credibility, my feelings don't matter cos I'm sick in the head etc. I'm not sure my family etc know what pnd is or how it is caused. So frustrating. I have a lot of pride myself. I think I have had pnd issues since after my first child was born but have just masked it or put it down to other things such as low iron. I also went through a stage of not so much no support but very little support or the wrong kinda support. My sil who came back from England has been good. I used to find her so judgemental but after I told her if people knew how their comments really affected me they wouldn't say them. I almost said I wanted to adopt my kids because people's comments had made me feel like such a bad mother. She changed the way she speaks to me after that. Families can be the worst sometimes I reckon. Sometimes they just put their feet in their mouths constantly.

How is everyone coping? : Family, they are good at being...

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 11:31:25 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 28�November�2012 at 11:31am

Family, they are good at being pretty insensitive and upsetting. I have had my fair share of that from my family.

Oh that sucks you are unable to have anymore. That must be hard.

Yeah it's a bit insensitive for your DH to share that info. I'd feel embarrassed too.

So many people don't get PND or else totally take it the wrong way. Thinking people with PND do crazy things, like try killing their kids, due to news overseas blaming PND in some women for such tragedies.

Nothing wrong with asking how your brothers baby is.

People can be very indifferent I find, when they know you are PND.

But PND doesn't mean we are not right or nutty or anything. It just means our hormones went a bit nuts due to pregnancy and childbirth and it takes a while to get back to ourselves.

It's really common. Just a lot of people have too much pride and don't admit to it.

Just make sure you are seeking as much help and support as you can now.

I lack support and help big time after having my 2nd and still lack support and help to some degree. This being why I have bouts of severe depression. Though at the moment I'm doing well.

I let pride get in my way A LOT and that's not good aye.

How is everyone coping? : Thanks escadachic for your post....

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 08:47:16 +0000

Author: confused???
Subject: 36210
Posted: 28�November�2012 at 8:47am

Thanks escadachic for your post. Yesterday started off ok but my dad came round to visit and he seems to have a knack for saying the wrong thing.He tells me I am lucky I haven't had a baby the natural way and that longer hospital stays make it easier on mum and baby. I don't feel lucky having had 4 cs. I am lucky to have my 4 kids yes but I have had a lot of problems with having had 4 cs and I can no longer get pregnant because of this. It could be worse but still hard to take when I really wanted an even larger family. Because I have 4 kids however I'm supposedly wrong for feeling down about my birth experiences/ loss of fertility. (I know the same thing can be true though too with vb. I know there are plenty who have had a hard time having been down that road) I had a hard time in hospital too. I missed my family and it was so hard to sleep with people coming in to check blood pressure etc. My husband also really struggled last time round. He was in tears with not having me home so I felt terrible being away from him when he was so stressed.I don't necessarily want someone to agree with me but I want certain family members/ friends to accept that not everyone's experience is the same for the same thing if you get what I mean? It's almost like people think I am incapable of vb due to some flaw in my character, pain tolerance etc etc. Couldn't be more far from the truth! I didn't think there was a pain free way to have a baby whether the pain be before, during or after. Cs is also major abdominal surgery is it not? Things just went downhill from there. Was cooking dinner for my bro and his family and I get a text saying they wouldn't be home as the baby was back in hospital. I then texted back asking if everything was ok and get a cryptic text back which upset me. Am I being to nosy asking if everything is ok? Am I too crazy to handle certain information? I hate it when people withhold information from me because they are scared of the consequences. Makes me feel like I am badly flawed once again. I then got angry at DH for nothing, smashed a plate then went for a 2 hour walk. He told his sister about everything which embarrassed me. I hate people knowing I have pnd and that I am on medication. They also went looking for me because they thought I had done something serious if you know what I mean. I don't need to give people any more reason to think I am flawed. That is the other thing. can a sufferer of pnd simply just pull their socks up? I think not. Is it something they have done that has caused them to get pnd? Oh how wrong people can be.

How is everyone coping? : Hey we understand Migraines,...

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 16:09:29 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 26�November�2012 at 4:09pm

Hey we understand

Migraines, they are not fun at the best of times and I feel they can easily tip us over the edge. It's like, everything is too much when you've got a major migraine and kids, they are so much harder to tolerate when you are feeling in pain like that.

Why do you feel guilty? Is it feeling guilty for feeling so low?

As it's ok to not cope. It's ok to have a bad day or even a bad week. It's absolutely normal. Well in my world it is.

You're not going crazy I assure you. But I know that feeling, of feeling like you are going crazy. I've been in that places a few times in the last few months. And with the guilt too.

Snide comments when you are already not feeling so great, I find they easily push you over the edge(not you, I mean people in general who get down)

I've just been dealing with some horrible comments about myself in the last day. Not good.

It's easy to envy what others have. That's human nature too. And try not to feel like less, because you didn't have that natural birth. Most of my friends have had c-sections or assisted delivery, so you are not alone in not having your desired birth.

Good that you have reached out for help at least here.

I'm not sure where in NZ you are, but there are some great crisis and helplines you can call when you are feeling so over it all. I know, I have called them a few times in the last few months.

Kids. I have 2 of them and yup I can so relate to not being able to stand them and just not coping.

I'm here if you need to vent anyway. You are welcome to P.M through my profile if you like.

How is everyone coping? : Today I am not coping well at...

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 13:42:51 +0000

Author: confused???
Subject: 36210
Posted: 26�November�2012 at 1:42pm

Today I am not coping well at all. Everything sets me off today. First of all, had a fantastic day yesterday. Woke up with a migraine today and it went downhill from there. My sil had her baby last night and I got sent a pic today and had a melt down because there were no details like name etc with it, she is coming out of hosp today which set me off cos she had a vb that took 3 hours and I have never had a baby the natural way, I can't stand my kids crying today and I ended up dropping the kids off late to school and my boy's teacher made a snide comment about that. I feel like I am going crazy! Everything makes me upset esp anything baby,pregnancy or parenting related! Everything makes me feel guilty and I feel like no one understands!

How is everyone coping? : Our FB group It has now been...

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 09:48:55 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 22�August�2012 at 9:48am

Our FB group

It has now been changed so you can find it. So feel free to request to be added. It's still private though, so our posts can't be read by others.

How is everyone coping? : Glad things are going a bit better...

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 09:40:01 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 22�August�2012 at 9:40am

Glad things are going a bit better for you now mummyslittlewhirlwind

How is everyone coping? : mummyslittlewhirlwind wrote:I...

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 09:36:50 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 22�August�2012 at 9:36am

mummyslittlewhirlwind wrote:

I still haven't been invited to the FB group!

Oh I didn't realize your actual name, til I looked on your profile on here. Have added you now

Edited by escadachic

How is everyone coping? : escadachic wrote:Good on you...

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 00:26:29 +0000

Author: mummyslittlewhirlwind
Subject: 36210
Posted: 22�August�2012 at 12:26am

escadachic wrote:

Good on you for sharing Mummyslittlewhilrwind

It is nice to get it off your chest. And yeah I know what you mean about hiding these feelings from everyone. I usually only admit to those feeling after I have calmed down. Never when they are happening. It's like I just can't bring myself to admit it or share it, because I'm so emotionally fragile.

I hope they can find a more suitable medication for you. I don't even bother with anti-depressants anymore. As I got sick of not being offered other options. Got really annoyed with doctors always offering my one's I had been on before and that didn't gel well with me. It's like, man, do you not read your patient notes?!

It is hard not having an anti-depressant to suit. So I just have to deal with the depressive periods and hope like hell they hurry up and pass. I only take 30 Plus tablets. Which at least for me is better then nothing at all.

It's really good that you reached out to your counsellor at least. That is something to be proud of.

Yeah stress for sure does make things spiral out of control. Over time, you will improve. But I can't tell you when. But it does get easier to cope, with practise and learning new strategies. And yes, even when you are significantly better, you will likely still have periods of depression, but you will be able to get through them faster.

I used to think, there was a fix for depression and that it could be cured. But I have come to realize, that it will come and go, but that is normal. As, even people who are not suffering from mental health issues, have periods of depression.

Do whatever you can to look after yourself. Even if that's just a nice bath or reading. And if you can have some time away from your child, do when it's possible. As being a Mum is a 24/7 job and it never ends. But when you get somewhat of a break, it is refreshing. It's called self-care and it's essential.

Thanks so much. Just to say, the CRISIS team got involved and were an amazing support. I got to see a Psychiatrist, changed medication which is much better though still not as good as it should be I don't think (probably need to up the dose or wait the full 4wks to see how effective it is). I think it had a lot to do with the new medication they'd put me on (was an old one). I felt better within days of coming off it. Hard to believe now that I got that low but my circumstances have recently improved and not as stressful.

I still haven't been invited to the FB group!

How is everyone coping? : ScaredyKat. Have you done any...

Sat, 11 Aug 2012 11:00:18 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�August�2012 at 11:00am

ScaredyKat. Have you done any reading online about Anxiety?

I find, understanding anxiety completely, helps at least a little. I know this is a good site: Anxiety help

Just another thing, anxiety is actually a very normal feeling and it's totally natural and everyone experiences. It's just that those of us who experience it more intensely have a heightened awareness and we get overwhelmed by it. If this strategy helps try reminding yourself, you are not in danger, the past dictates that you have never come of harm or worse while having these attacks of anxiety and the past is also proof you do come out of it and do cope and can cope. If you can try and remember these things and remind yourself of these facts, it may help. It's kind of practicing CBT(cognative behaviour therapy) on yourself using these techniques.

Hope that helps. I'm always here to listen if you ever want to message me privately too.

Edited by escadachic

How is everyone coping? : Have you tried using magnesium...

Sat, 11 Aug 2012 10:35:15 +0000

Author: Kellz
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�August�2012 at 10:35am

Have you tried using magnesium powder to aid sleep,...I found it really really really useful even when my depression/anxiety was at its worse. I hope u get sleep soon.

How is everyone coping? : I am writing this after trying...

Sat, 11 Aug 2012 09:13:21 +0000

Author: ScaredyKat
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�August�2012 at 9:13am

I am writing this after trying to sleep, and I can't! My stupid anxiety has come back and I am OVER IT. I am sooo tired, and NEED to sleep (as this is adding to it) and of course I can't. Find it so frustrating!!! My daughter is 10 days old, and I had a bit of anxiety in the first few days but thought I had it under control. Now it is back, grrr! Wish I could just enjoy the newborn days and be 'normal'! Am not having any other 'down' feelings yet, so that is at least something. And hoping hormones etc are still playing havoc. It is a very early days, so I know it is all an adjustment time for all of us.

Have talked to MMH who have suggested perhaps taking a sleeping tablet tonight to help, as I went a whole night last night with NO sleep. Even when baby was sleeping!!! I think that is adding to my anxiety.

I fear, if things don't improve over the weekend (why does this always happen over the weekend!) I might have to go back onto meds on Mon. I don't want it to get out of control like last time.

How is everyone coping? : Good on you for sharing Mummyslittlewhilrwind...

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:11:13 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 10�August�2012 at 9:11am

Good on you for sharing Mummyslittlewhilrwind

It is nice to get it off your chest. And yeah I know what you mean about hiding these feelings from everyone. I usually only admit to those feeling after I have calmed down. Never when they are happening. It's like I just can't bring myself to admit it or share it, because I'm so emotionally fragile.

I hope they can find a more suitable medication for you. I don't even bother with anti-depressants anymore. As I got sick of not being offered other options. Got really annoyed with doctors always offering my one's I had been on before and that didn't gel well with me. It's like, man, do you not read your patient notes?!

It is hard not having an anti-depressant to suit. So I just have to deal with the depressive periods and hope like hell they hurry up and pass. I only take 30 Plus tablets. Which at least for me is better then nothing at all.

It's really good that you reached out to your counsellor at least. That is something to be proud of.

Yeah stress for sure does make things spiral out of control. Over time, you will improve. But I can't tell you when. But it does get easier to cope, with practise and learning new strategies. And yes, even when you are significantly better, you will likely still have periods of depression, but you will be able to get through them faster.

I used to think, there was a fix for depression and that it could be cured. But I have come to realize, that it will come and go, but that is normal. As, even people who are not suffering from mental health issues, have periods of depression.

Do whatever you can to look after yourself. Even if that's just a nice bath or reading. And if you can have some time away from your child, do when it's possible. As being a Mum is a 24/7 job and it never ends. But when you get somewhat of a break, it is refreshing. It's called self-care and it's essential.

How is everyone coping? : Hey I have just had a very very...

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 20:11:22 +0000

Author: mummyslittlewhirlwind
Subject: 36210
Posted: 09�August�2012 at 8:11pm

Hey I have just had a very very very low day. Started having suicidal thoughts - texted my counsellor who rang me and then the Crisis team rang me. Made me flush all old anti-depressant medication down the loo!

My depression is quite bad at the moment. I went onto medication when my son was 9mths old and was good for about a year and then through circumstances not changing but getting more stressful, I relapsed and medication stopped being effective. Recently stopped one medication to go onto low dose of another and maybe it's why I've been so low but also things have been more stressful the last week I suppose.

Hard to share this because I hide this from everyone! So I'm sharing it here.

Thanks.

How is everyone coping? : mummyslittlewhirlwind - Looks...

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 20:29:13 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 22�July�2012 at 8:29pm

mummyslittlewhirlwind - Looks like due to the privacy settings you need to be added as my friend, so I can add you to the group.

Trying searching for me on FB. Kelly Parker. I'm in Wellington and I have short blonde hair in my profile picture.

How is everyone coping? : "PND Support Group for OHBABY...

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 17:50:16 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 12�July�2012 at 5:50pm

"PND Support Group for OHBABY members"

Maybe try private message me your email address and I'll try add you that way.

Yeah I don't think it's visible. As it set as 'secret', so we can talk honestly without people seeing whom we don't want to see.

How is everyone coping? : How weird! The link doesn't...

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 21:23:01 +0000

Author: mummyslittlewhirlwind
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�July�2012 at 9:23pm

How weird! The link doesn't work either!

That's strange. What's actual name of it?

How is everyone coping? : It wouldn't send the message. Here...

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 09:21:35 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�July�2012 at 9:21am

It wouldn't send the message.

Here is the link: PND Support Group on Facebook

Let me know if you have any issues finding it.

How is everyone coping? : I'll private message you...

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 09:18:14 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�July�2012 at 9:18am

I'll private message you the link.

How is everyone coping? : Thanks so much eschadachick (probably...

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 22:58:12 +0000

Author: mummyslittlewhirlwind
Subject: 36210
Posted: 10�July�2012 at 10:58pm

Thanks so much eschadachick (probably spelt that wrong!) will check out your blog.

What's the facebook group you are referring to?

I appreciate the reply

How is everyone coping? : mummyslittlewhirlwind wrote:I...

Sun, 08 Jul 2012 16:00:12 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�July�2012 at 4:00pm

mummyslittlewhirlwind wrote:

I ask myself have I looked for conflict, am I a target for conflict or am I just extra sensitive to hurt and rejection?

I'm finding it really hard not having anyone to talk to about this stuff except my counsellor so I thought I'd seek out some people who might understand

Welcome mummyslittlewhirlwind.

To answer that question, no I don't feel you are looking for conflict. I find when we are going through depression and other such things that are wearing us down, we do become extra sensitive and do feel hurt more easily.

I can relate to the feeling alone and isolated. None of my family live anywhere near me and I found that was part of why I developed PND, among other things. Like I had some sh*t things happen to me while pregnant too. And when you don't feel you can really honesty talk to anyone, who is considered a good friend and someone who 'gets' it, that is SO hard.

I'm here for you if you ever want to chat and you are welcome to P.M me too. Also, we have a private group on Facebook if you want to share more privately.

You are welcome to read my blog, which is here My Blog

As I went through a pretty crappy time and used to think I was the only one feel that way, but through sharing my feelings and such in my blog, I came to discover others felt that way too.

I still go through periods of depression too. Thanks for sharing. That's really good that you can do that. It does help to get it off your chest I find.

How is everyone coping? : Hi everyone I had PND with my...

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 22:02:15 +0000

Author: mummyslittlewhirlwind
Subject: 36210
Posted: 07�July�2012 at 10:02pm

Hi everyone

I had PND with my first child (only have one). He is 2.5yrs old now - nearly 3yo really and I went onto medication when he was 9mths old but I think I had ante-natal depression in hindsight.

Anyway, for about one year I was "well" while on medication after finding the right drug, right dose. I'm on fluoxetine 30mg but I never really had counselling. I separated from my husband twice - first when I was pregnant and then when baby was around about 8mths old. So I'm doing it alone. I also have very little support and few friends, none of whom I would call very close. So it's a lonely, isolating sort of a journey I find.

I had about 10 sessions of counselling I suppose - maybe less - when I separated from my husband as my self-esteem was in tatters. It's not as bad now and I'm certainly able to function however my depression has definitely returned and seems that the medication has "stopped working". I don't want to turn this into an extremely long story so won't go into too much more detail but one of the things I'm finding very hard at the moment is how sensitive I am to hurt. I have returned to counselling fortunately but it's the loneliness that I'm finding very hard. The part where I feel like no one's got my back. That I don't have significant people in my life who really love and support me. And I find myself constantly in conflict. I ask myself have I looked for conflict, am I a target for conflict or am I just extra sensitive to hurt and rejection?

I'm finding it really hard not having anyone to talk to about this stuff except my counsellor so I thought I'd seek out some people who might understand.

Thanks.

How is everyone coping? : I usually take 30 Plus tablets....

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 10:15:56 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 19�June�2012 at 10:15am

I usually take 30 Plus tablets. But have run out.

How is everyone coping? : Hi everyone, havent been in here...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 10:12:38 +0000

Author: Kellz
Subject: 36210
Posted: 19�June�2012 at 10:12am

Hi everyone, havent been in here for ages.

Escadachic- Ive had great success with using natural progesterone cream and/or a spray from a herbist for managing mood/pms symptoms.

How is everyone coping? : I've heard good things about...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 09:15:04 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 19�June�2012 at 9:15am

I've heard good things about 5-htp from when I was in a PND group. So I assume it is quite good. I just can't afford it myself.

And yeah, some doctors are pretty shocking with how readily they hand out meds.

Edited by escadachic

How is everyone coping? : Hi all, I was referred to my gp...

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 21:05:08 +0000

Author: SnuggleBear
Subject: 36210
Posted: 18�June�2012 at 9:05pm

Hi all, I was referred to my gp by plunket cos she thought I had pnd and gp very quickly (too quickly!!) prescribed me esctilaporam but I felt it was a bit weird that she was too happy to handout pills without getting me to taake the quiz or talk about other options I could look in it like counseling , exercise etc

So anyways I went to my local health shop and the lady there recommended 5-htp, has anyone had any experience with that? Is it safe to take while bf? (the health shop lady said it was but I'm just checking;))

How is everyone coping? : I was on Escitalopram(loxalate)...

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 16:23:59 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 13�June�2012 at 4:23pm

I was on Escitalopram(loxalate) But not anything now.

Yeah, winz may help. Not sure. Due to DF working full-time. Unsure of my entitlement.

How is everyone coping? : Oh dear! What meds are you on? Im...

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 12:43:47 +0000

Author: conndog
Subject: 36210
Posted: 13�June�2012 at 12:43pm

Oh dear! What meds are you on?
Im always tired on mine! Sleep whenever Logan naps! My anxiety is better too.. but still gets triggered by some things.
I have Logan in porse one day a week. its great! clean etc and go to counselling on this day. It doesnt cost much either with the winz help... you could try??
Feel bad looking forward to my time away from him but it does miracles! so much calmer and less stressed!!!

Hope your ok hun! and fx things get better soon x

How is everyone coping? : Yeah I am mostly ok. I did try...

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 15:49:16 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 12�June�2012 at 3:49pm

Yeah I am mostly ok.

I did try meds again, but the one's they put me on did not gel well with me and made me like a zombie and always sick.

My anxiety is all good for the most part. My moods tend to go downhill when I have AF approaching.

But mostly I'm doing ok.

Can't find anyone to look after Annabelle. Or else I would go to counselling.

How is everyone coping? : Heya! Doing much better than before...

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 14:37:32 +0000

Author: conndog
Subject: 36210
Posted: 12�June�2012 at 2:37pm

Heya!
Doing much better than before thanks :) went back on the drugs! Man they are evil to come off!!! Cant see myself ever doing it. My weekly counselling is helping sooooo much! being able to talk out my down moments really is a great way to move forward (or try too!) just wish my appts were more frequent haha!

How are you escadachic?

How is everyone coping? : So, how is everyone coping?

Tue, 05 Jun 2012 13:40:35 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 05�June�2012 at 1:40pm

So, how is everyone coping?

How is everyone coping? : Conndog. Sorry to hear you are...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:46:16 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�February�2012 at 9:46pm

Conndog.

Sorry to hear you are going through that. It's not a great place to be in. Is there anything you can get to help with this period?

Free2BeMe. I hope those vitamin D tablets help. And glad that book is helping you.

How is everyone coping? : Hi, I'm pretty new to the...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:51:40 +0000

Author: Free2BeMe
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�February�2012 at 6:51pm

Hi, I'm pretty new to the forum, but have had PND 3 times, after each child, and am on Citalopram. Anyway, I recently went to see my GP about dosages etc, and among other things she mentioned a book "The Depression Cure: 6 step program to beat depression without drugs" Stephen Ilardi.

I've started reading it, and I really recommend it, not to only people with depression, but to everyone actually.

Interview with Stephen Ilardi on his book

Oh another thing my GP did which surprised me was perscribe Vitamin D tablets to me! I'll be interested to see how they work. I'm hoping to wean off Anti Depressants entirely soonish hopefully, just got to get other coping mechanisms in place...

Edited by Free2BeMe

How is everyone coping? : hey everyone! hope u are all doing...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:54:23 +0000

Author: conndog
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�February�2012 at 11:54am

hey everyone! hope u are all doing ok. I, on the other hand, am having a really sh*tty time. trying to come off escitalopram. is HORRIBLE. cant sleep, vomiting, feel really down- trying to study, plan my sons birthday, a wedding, keep the house clean etc etc etc running on empty! anxiety attacks getting more frequent.
off to the doc soon. hopefully my son sleeps b4 we go!

How is everyone coping? : I too will be glad when the holidays...

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 14:05:14 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 15�January�2012 at 2:05pm

I too will be glad when the holidays are over!

How is everyone coping? : You're doing so well...

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 12:58:16 +0000

Author: shadowfeet
Subject: 36210
Posted: 15�January�2012 at 12:58pm

You're doing so well with the weight loss Kelly, just looking at your ticker , and yea, expensive cafes are nice but not affordable at the moment that often.

Everything's going ok here, will be so glad when the holidays are over

How is everyone coping? : Just want to have a little vent. I'm...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:15:52 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�January�2012 at 9:15pm

Just want to have a little vent.

I'm sorry, but I didn't know that PND support groups had cliques! Guess just because I struggle more privately and can't afford to meet up at highly priced cafe's I'm not good enough for you all then!

ETA. This is a meet up of the ladies, after the group ended. One they have once or twice a month.

Edited by escadachic

How is everyone coping? : lurker in I suffered from terrible...

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 08:27:55 +0000

Author: AbzandH
Subject: 36210
Posted: 10�January�2012 at 8:27am

*lurker in*
I suffered from terrible panic attacks a few years ago after a car accident, long story short I was seeing a chiropractor due to the damage in my neck and she mentioned a friend of hers back in America who had been severly depressed for over 10 years started taking Omega3 pills (about 3 times the dose suggested) with amazing results. I think it would be worth testing the idea as I was put on Loxamine for the panic attacks (they believed it was anxiety related) and after 3-4 days on it I could not have possibly felt worse about life! If it weren't for my parents insisting I stay with them and come off the pills i'd hate to think where I would have ended up.
Best of luck to you all, hope 2012 brings you to a much better place :)
*lurker out*

How is everyone coping? : I've kind of switched between...

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:43:11 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 05�January�2012 at 6:43pm

I've kind of switched between anti-d's. But that was more because they put me on Nortriptilene and that made me way worse and then switched me to Venlafaxine without a break and I just got excessively fatigued.

I don't do anti-d's anymore, as I hate their side effects. So presently I'm just taking tablets for balancing my hormones, from the health shop, called 'Nutra-life - Real Me'

How is everyone coping? : Hey everyone Hope you all had...

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:50:39 +0000

Author: snugglebug
Subject: 36210
Posted: 05�January�2012 at 1:50pm

Hey everyone

Hope you all had a good xmas and new year.

I have been trying to come off loxamine but the withdrawls have been absolutely hideous, so my doctor has put me on to citalopram which I am to stay on for a month or so and then try getting off that as apparently its an easier drug to withdraw from than loxamine.

I have to have a few days then I start taking the citalopram.

Can I expect all the symptoms you would usually get starting antidepressants even though Im on another one at the moment, so my system has something like that in it?

Has anyone switched between antidepressants like this? Any advice?

I was feeling really good and ready to come off my meds but in the process of doing so have had some really anxious and angry moments which makes me wonder if I'm ready to, so I might see how the citalopram goes and stay on for a bit if its better than loxamine (which I havent found that great overall)

How is everyone coping? : Glad to hear you are feeling a...

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 17:54:30 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�December�2011 at 5:54pm

Glad to hear you are feeling a lot better Lisa

How is everyone coping? : Yeah I think it's a dumb...

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:14:18 +0000

Author: snugglebug
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�December�2011 at 3:14pm

Yeah I think it's a dumb name Escadachic cos it would put people off!

I am weaning off my meds at the moment, gone from one a day to one every second day, then next week I'll do it twice a week, then should be able to go off them after that. That's how my doctor told me to do it anyway. So far no ill effects really, apart from feeling a bit tired and headache but that could be anything.

Im feeling in a good place and ready to do it as I feel Ive learnt strategies to cope over the last year with some of the trying moments. I don't think I'm depressed anymore which is really cool.

Im sure I'll always have a tendency to get depressed though, ie I guess I have the depression 'illness' but I will adress it if and when it happens again.

Re fish oil I find fish oil and evening primrose oil, as well as an iron fizz (iron and b12) tablet each day really help me to feel good.

How is everyone coping? : You get them from some chemists...

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 19:43:22 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 07�December�2011 at 7:43pm

You get them from some chemists and health food shops. Same with the '30-Plus'. Tissue salts are $19, though you can get them cheaper at different shops and '30-Plus' is $38.50.

Btw, '30-Plus' is for all women. Of course, I thought it was only for women 30 yrs old plus. I was wrong lol!

How is everyone coping? : Thanks for the tip escadachic...

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 18:20:19 +0000

Author: Guest_41223
Subject: 36210
Posted: 07�December�2011 at 6:20pm

Thanks for the tip escadachic - I'm off to investigate some tissue salts for myself! Cheers

How is everyone coping? : Yeah I've heard that too....

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 16:52:57 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 07�December�2011 at 4:52pm

Yeah I've heard that too. But unfortunately Fish Oil didn't do anything for me.

These days I take '30-Plus' and 'New Era tissue salts - for Nervous Exhaustion & general debility' and they are more natural then anti-d's and way better for me. Yay!

How is everyone coping? : Hi, i just wanted to share that...

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 13:29:13 +0000

Author: Rosesmum
Subject: 36210
Posted: 07�December�2011 at 1:29pm

Hi, i just wanted to share that I fairly recently listened to a program on depression on National Radio. Scientists have linked a lack of Omega 3 to depression and they spoke of this being a possibility with PND as women lack omega 3 after birth as we lack in most vitamins. I therefore have taken Omega 3 tablets (fish oil and flax oil) for about 2 weeks and have felt an improvement in my depression. So I wanted to pass this on in the hope others might feel an improvement. I was previously on prozac but wanted to come off. I have not been sucessful in coming off before. But at the momment I am feeling very positive so I would encourage others to try it. A lack of Zinc has also been linked to PND.

How is everyone coping? : Had to share this. free webinar...

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:29:15 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�November�2011 at 12:29am

Had to share this. free webinar on PND/depression

It's really good and makes heaps of sense. Found it really relevant and helpful.

How is everyone coping? : That sucks Heaf, if you feel she's...

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:57:28 +0000

Author: snugglebug
Subject: 36210
Posted: 23�October�2011 at 9:57pm

That sucks Heaf, if you feel she's not right then I'd go back to see your usual doctor. Maybe you'll feel more comfortable talking to her. When I first mentioned it to my doctor, she said do the Edinburgh quiz and bring it back to her. My answers from that were enough to show her something was really wrong and then we went from there. Did she ask you many questions or rely on what you said? You seem unhappy with her response which would indicate to me that you don't feel it is right... Don't give up

I just googled and you can do it online http://www.testandcalc.com/etc/tests/edin.asp

or http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/depression/inpregnancypostnatal/self-test.cfm

I also found this site helpful

http://www.mothersmatter.co.nz/default.asp

How is everyone coping? : ok. so i went to see the dr yesterday....

Sat, 22 Oct 2011 15:46:23 +0000

Author: heaf3
Subject: 36210
Posted: 22�October�2011 at 3:46pm

ok. so i went to see the dr yesterday. not my usual dr but she was nice. she doesn't think i have pnd, (not enough for meds anyway), but not entirely sure i expressed how i have been feeling well enough. she said if things get worse to go back though.

How is everyone coping? : Give plunket a call love, that...

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:55:54 +0000

Author: lostAmber
Subject: 36210
Posted: 21�October�2011 at 10:55am

Give plunket a call love, that is what they are there for, or even make an appt to see your GP.

How is everyone coping? : I'm not sure LA...but I definately...

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:16:17 +0000

Author: heaf3
Subject: 36210
Posted: 20�October�2011 at 11:16am

I'm not sure LA...but I definately need something like that, or even someone to come over and help me do it at home,i just don't know what i'm doing wrong or how to fix it.

How is everyone coping? : heaf, Liv was just like that,...

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:07:55 +0000

Author: lostAmber
Subject: 36210
Posted: 20�October�2011 at 11:07am

heaf, Liv was just like that, and it near drove me crazy, like I was in tears all the time! the only thing that helped was going to mothercraft for a week, in which they sleep trained her, and ever since then her day sleeps have been perfect. is there anything like that in whangarei? or even auckland?

How is everyone coping? : argh i wrote a post on here the...

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:30:34 +0000

Author: heaf3
Subject: 36210
Posted: 19�October�2011 at 4:30pm

argh i wrote a post on here the other day but it obviously didn't work. and now i can't remember what i said lol.

the prob with H's sleeping is not so much at night time, although she doesn't go to bed until late, but its the day sleeps or lack of...the only place she will sleep at the moment is in my arms and thats after a feed. as soon as i try to pop her in bed she wakes up and won't go back to sleep. finding it so unbelievably frustrating right now! and she doesnt' go to sleep at night until like 11.

so yeah, no naps for me in the day time! which most of the time is fine, but some days i would kill for a bit more sleep.

thanks for setting up the FB group, going to have a lookie now.

How is everyone coping? : LA I know it is soooooooo hard. Just...

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 21:03:34 +0000

Author: sierra34
Subject: 36210
Posted: 18�October�2011 at 9:03pm

LA I know it is soooooooo hard.
Just think each tooth is getting closer to the end of that! Hang in there

I think being a mum is incredibly hard, and what we have to go thru is massive (with hormones, periods, pregnancy, childbirth etc). Given the chance I would totally choose to be born a boy!!

Me and my lil boy have been getting on better lately, i think it's an age thing, he's better able to communicate to me, and he's happier, so I'm so pleased/relieved to see him happy so I feel a lot better bonded to him. Still get frustrated and grumpy at his toddler antics though! Am figuring out that mostly all parents find it hard dealing with lil people & their diff behaviour, not just ones dealing with depression.

How is everyone coping? : Tired and irritable today, so...

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:15:04 +0000

Author: lostAmber
Subject: 36210
Posted: 17�October�2011 at 4:15pm

Tired and irritable today, so over DD and her teething=waking multiple times a night screaming and taking an hour to resettle. I try to nap when she does in the morning but i'm usually just falling asleep when she's deciding to wake up :( Hate living with the inlaws too and having MIL being privvy to how i'm coping (or lack thereof!!).

How is everyone coping? : Heaf totally get the angry thing,...

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 22:23:26 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 36210
Posted: 16�October�2011 at 10:23pm

Heaf totally get the angry thing, even now my wick gets perilously short when I'm very stressed or very tired (and being preg and sick = both unfortunately ) but for me anyway thats where the fish oil/EPO stepped in. I found it acted as a mood stabiliser better than any of the drugs they had me on and my coping abilities doubled. Another tip is to make sure you drink lots of water coz you won't cope as well if you're dehydrated, and of course get as much sleep as possible which might be difficult if Holly is waking through the night but even if you try getting some shut-eye while shes napping - try it for a week and see how you go. Hugs babe you know you can always message me xox

How is everyone coping? : Oh and chicken pox vaccine is...

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:47:58 +0000

Author: girly_girl
Subject: 36210
Posted: 16�October�2011 at 8:47pm

Oh and chicken pox vaccine is $80 - had C done about a month ago. It doesn't last forever, they need a booster around 18, but in my mind, totally worth it!!

How is everyone coping? : Me too escadachic! Arrrrrgh off...

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:46:27 +0000

Author: girly_girl
Subject: 36210
Posted: 16�October�2011 at 8:46pm

Me too escadachic! Arrrrrgh off to Raro tomorrow for a week - so much to do but just can't be faffed. Motivation has made a fast exit. Just wanted to pop in an send everyone hugs for next week, and mention that I think fb group is a fabulous idea (my due date group migrated over there, so spend much less time on here now days).

xx

How is everyone coping? : I've made the group now. Just...

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 19:19:54 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 16�October�2011 at 7:19pm

I've made the group now.

Just P.M me on here and I'll add you. Not sure if you can request to be added, as I made it a secret group. So maybe just let me know your FB email and name or I can just give you mine, so I can add you that way.

I've added wiggly_jiggly and LA so far.

Edited by escadachic

How is everyone coping? : LA yeah I don't get much...

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 15:28:30 +0000

Author: heaf3
Subject: 36210
Posted: 16�October�2011 at 3:28pm

LA yeah I don't get much time apart from H. especially at the moment because she gets grizzly when i leave the room. in fact the only time i have been anywhere without her was when DH & I went to the movies a couple of months ago to see harry potter.

W_J yeah i knew there was a vaccine, might talk to the dr about that as I really don't want to get it! hopefully its not too expensive though

and yes a facebook group would probably be a great thing to have if someone wants to set one up

How is everyone coping? : Heaf, feelings of anger is normal,...

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 10:19:37 +0000

Author: lostAmber
Subject: 36210
Posted: 16�October�2011 at 10:19am

Heaf, feelings of anger is normal, but it does make us feel even worse about ourselves afterwards. I lose it at DD at times, particularly when she is crying and upset. Talk to your doctor and see what they have to say. Otherwise, how much time out from DD are you getting?

Anja, do you have any outside support? I can't imagine looking after a baby on my own, it wouldn't be safe for either one of us. You will get through it though, the first 9 months are definitely the hardest and least rewarding, but it gets better I promise *hugs*

How is everyone coping? : Heaf there's a chicken pox...

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 14:45:46 +0000

Author: snugglebug
Subject: 36210
Posted: 15�October�2011 at 2:45pm

Heaf there's a chicken pox vaccine you can have, if you vaccinate you should have it for yourself, it's really awful as an adult :S I would have even paid for the chickenpox vaccine for DS if I'd had the chance as I never want him to go through that again, not fun

How is everyone coping? : Maybe we should create a private...

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 14:43:14 +0000

Author: snugglebug
Subject: 36210
Posted: 15�October�2011 at 2:43pm

Maybe we should create a private facebook group for ohbaby PND ladies? I know there was one in the past but it's not active anymore. Im happy to make one- I have some of you on my facebook but not all, so if I don't please PM me and I can add you.

Anja, I couldn't see it at the beginning but people used to tell me that baby feeds off your mood, so if you're anxious, they are anxious, if you're upset or tense so are they. I hated hearing that in the beginning but now I can totally see it, if I'm upset or tense or having an off day, DS totally responds to it. I've been sick recently and he's really played up and been clingy, like he senses something is wrong. Whenever my Mum would come over in the early days when I'd had a terrible night with the baby and felt I couldn't cope, he would always calm down immediately for her and it used to make me so sad, but now I see why. Perhaps your DS is settling better for DH because he's feeling calmer? Try not to take it personally and try to remember it's a product of the situation and in time when you feel better it will start to change. My DS and I are so close now because of all we've been through together and I feel we have a special bond but it wasn't always that way. Even now I find if he won't settle to sleep and I get frustrated and have a bit of a meltdown, if DH goes in and is calm, the baby will sleep, or at least calm down until Im ready to come back and get him to sleep. Your DS will never be better off without you.

RE the dose, I have been on loxamine since January. I started on 1 tablet, increased to 2 then that was good for ages, increased to 3 after a rough time but that was too much, dropped down to 2 again then that's been fine for ages, then trialled just having 1 this week. I decided to drop it rather than the doctor but she said last time it changed she was happy for me to move between the 2 and 1 pill dose when I felt ready.

Heaf, chatting to your GP is a good idea. When I did it I cried but she was so supportive and made me feel so much better and gave me some hope that I could get through it. That was in January and it's been a long hard road since then but if I hadn't done it, I don't know how much longer and harder the road would have been, and Im glad I did. Its hard but you can do it. Take your DH with you so he can hear and understand some of what you are feeling, I find that's important so they don't take the angry or sad outbursts too personally.

You bring up a good point about the anger, I was going to ask about that myself today. I had been feeling good on my dropped dose but in the last few days DS has been waking at night and difficult and I've just felt so frustrated and angry, and also tearful which I haven't felt (the tearful bit) since being on antidepressants. Does this mean I should put my dose back up, seeing as Im feeling worse again? Or just keep soldiering on through it? I am always confused about the anger- is it PND or am I just that sort of person (I never used to be believe me!). It scares me sometimes and I always feel sooo bad after it, I never mean to growl at him but somehow it comes out in the moment... makes me feel like the worst mother, I wish I didn't do it. I hadn't done it for a while, and now it's coincided with dropping the pills so I don't know whether that's to blame or not. Hope that makes sense.

I am feeling a bit deflated because I felt like I was so ready to drop the dose and then to have these things come back makes me sad because myabe I haven't come as far as I thought I had.

How is everyone coping? : Hugs Anja22 & Heaf3 Sorry...

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 10:55:33 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 15�October�2011 at 10:55am

Hugs Anja22 & Heaf3

Sorry to hear about the hard times you are both going through.

Do you have a good friend you can talk to, either of you?

Or if you aren't already, you could add some of us on FB and chat to us about it. We most likely have some understanding of what you are going through. I know I so get how you are both feeling and I have felt the same way myself.

How is everyone coping? : Sorry to see you here Heaf but...

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:58:13 +0000

Author: Anja22
Subject: 36210
Posted: 14�October�2011 at 4:58pm

Sorry to see you here Heaf but yay for getting support from these lovely ladies and your GP.

Wiggly_jiggly how much were you on before they cut your dosage? I've just been increased to 225mg venlafaxine and so far not feeling any different. Only been a week tho so have to be patient I guess.

I just keep having this overwhelming feeling that DS would be better off with his dad looking after him than me, he does such a better job and DS responds to him so much more positively. All he seems to do with me is cry and I hate seeing him like that. I hate feeling so anxious and am sooo frustrated coz a week ago I was feeling great, it's like flicking a switch and all of a sudden I'm not "me" any more, the bubbly sociable person I usually am.

Helps to see the success stories in here, those of you who got through this and are going back for no. 2 or more! Gives me hope that this will pass...

How is everyone coping? : right. well. my plunket nurse...

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:48:33 +0000

Author: heaf3
Subject: 36210
Posted: 14�October�2011 at 3:48pm

right. well. my plunket nurse thinks I should mention it to my dr when i take H in for her jabs. I have some fish oil tabs at home but i keep forgetting to take them,guess I should and see if they help...

things are just so up and down. And i'm so angry all the time! everything is just frustrating me and i'm taking it all out on DH and occasionally holly,like last night she was grizzling before i fed her and i yelled at her. for no good reason other than the fact that i was sick of her crying. i felt horrible afterwards though.

but she really is amazing and I wouldn't change her for anything, i love her to pieces.

yay for dropping your dosage wiggly_jiggly! but boo to having the chickenpox! im not looking forward to when Holly gets it(if she does) because I never had it when i was little!

hope everyone else is doing ok

How is everyone coping? : sierra34 wrote:LA did you get...

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 16:18:58 +0000

Author: lostAmber
Subject: 36210
Posted: 13�October�2011 at 4:18pm

sierra34 wrote:

LA did you get tired when preg with bub #1? I know I did and it wasn't depression for me then, it was the growing of bub! Plus you haved one already to run after so I assume it is quite exhausting. Hopefully that's all it is, and are you able to get out and visit a friend this week sometime, i'm sure it will help if you have something/somewhere to look forward to going, if you're feeling stuck with the in-laws.

yes I was very tired when pregnant with DD as well. my iron levels have been low for 6 months now also, so that is not helping. I am over taking 3 ferritin tabs a day though, so have just called my GP to see if I can get the injection.

And on another note, I can no longer put DD in daycare as DH has just reduced my allowance because things with the house are going over budget

How is everyone coping? : Babe Im really glad to hear you...

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 12:33:38 +0000

Author: snugglebug
Subject: 36210
Posted: 13�October�2011 at 12:33pm

Babe Im really glad to hear you are doing well and your experiences haven't stopped you from having the family you wanted- that has been my biggest fear, that I'll change my path in life because of the experiences I have had with my first baby.

As for me, Im feeling pretty good despite the fact I caught chickenpox from my son! I am one of the unlucky few who get it again, I had it as a kid. It has been really hideous and painful and irritating but I have not slipped into depression so Im happy with that. Just getting bored being housebound and looking like crap with spots all over!

Also at the start of the week I dropped my dose of medication from 2 pills down to 1 (my doc said it was ok for me to do that if I felt ready) and the first couple of days my head seemed to buzz a bit as it does on these pills, now I feel good and have adjusted, and so far feeling quite happy. I think it's to do with the fact Im approaching my bubs 1st birthday and thinking about how far we've come, how much I love him and how much I'm enjoying this little person he has become. I think that helps more than any pill ever could.

So Im happy with my decision to try and wean off and will stay on 1 pill till my repeats run out then I'll see what happens next.

I agree with the EPO and fish oil. I take a multi that has EPO and I take fish oil (well I was till the bottle ran out, must get more hehe) and I find that helps me to think clearly. I like the idea of having these natural 'pills' to go to once I wean off meds.

How is everyone coping? : Babe wrote:Oops sorry serial...

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 06:54:06 +0000

Author: girly_girl
Subject: 36210
Posted: 12�October�2011 at 6:54am

Babe wrote:

Oops sorry serial quoting too hard to stick it all on one post!

Lol! We don't mind chickie, quote away!

How is everyone coping? : Oops sorry serial quoting too...

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 18:48:51 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�October�2011 at 6:48pm

Oops sorry serial quoting too hard to stick it all on one post!

How is everyone coping? : girlygirl wrote:I just gave...

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 18:48:15 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�October�2011 at 6:48pm

girlygirl wrote:

I just gave Cale his first real haircut! OMG I have a little boy!! My teeny wee bubba has well and truly grown up. Been out with MIL and had a HUGE spend up at JK and PP and feel much better for a bit of retail therapy. I'm a bit cabin bound with this silly injury and that has never done good things to my brain.

Babe - that's so awesome hun!!! Low risk, WOW!! Our plan is to conceive at some stage next year (most likely later next year) once I'm off the venlafaxine. I'm down to 2 a day from 3, but need to do it slowly.

Yay for shopping!! Bummer for being stuck at home

I KNOW!! Lol I was alternately ecstatic and terrified when they said I was doing so well!! Specially considering how sick I'd been. They were shocked as well - its very unusual apparently to go through the combo of PND, PTSD AND (most especially) the psychosis then come out the other side while still having babies and ending up LOW TBH I think the FO/EPO and our diet made the difference.

How is everyone coping? : sierra34 wrote:DOes anyone...

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 18:45:06 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�October�2011 at 6:45pm

sierra34 wrote:

DOes anyone know what is meant to be really good for PMT, I take flaxseed oil but so get grumpy and tired before that time of month.

Evening Primrose Oil - BRILLIANT!!! Take as big a dose as possible and top it off with Fish Oil which helps balance your brain chemical balance!!

How is everyone coping? : heaf3 wrote:hi all. pretty...

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 18:42:20 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�October�2011 at 6:42pm

heaf3 wrote:

hi all. pretty sure i belong here though no official diagnosis, and some days are better than others which makes me think maybe i don't have it.

anyways just thought i would pop my head in and introduce myself - i'm heather, mum to holly whos almost 5 months. already know a few of you in here

oh and CONGRATS bridie!!!!!! thats a good way to brighten my day!

Hey my sweet!! Hahaha thankyou :takes a bow:

Are you taking EPO/Fish Oil?? Even at my worst I had 'good' days - I think most of us do/did so its probably not a reliable way to determine if you have PND. Have you spoken to your doc??

ETA actually I'm saying what WJ said further up but I missed her post

Edited by Babe

How is everyone coping? : LA did you get tired when preg...

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 10:36:43 +0000

Author: sierra34
Subject: 36210
Posted: 11�October�2011 at 10:36am

LA did you get tired when preg with bub #1? I know I did and it wasn't depression for me then, it was the growing of bub! Plus you haved one already to run after so I assume it is quite exhausting. Hopefully that's all it is, and are you able to get out and visit a friend this week sometime, i'm sure it will help if you have something/somewhere to look forward to going, if you're feeling stuck with the in-laws.

How is everyone coping? : L.A That sux you aren't...

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 19:14:34 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 10�October�2011 at 7:14pm

L.A

That sux you aren't having a good day. I hope for you, it is just for today and tomorrow will be better

How is everyone coping? : Not having a good day here. Too...

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 18:26:46 +0000

Author: lostAmber
Subject: 36210
Posted: 10�October�2011 at 6:26pm

Not having a good day here. Too tired to do anything, and am needing to sleep when Olivia sleeps, which means I can't exercise, which is making me very anxious as I see my weight increasing and cellulite growing. I'm hoping it's just "one of those days" and these feelings don't hang around. Also over being at the inlaws today- everything is just aggrevating me as I feel so out of control.

How is everyone coping? : Oh sorry Sierra. Forget not everyone...

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 20:56:10 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�October�2011 at 8:56pm

Oh sorry Sierra. Forget not everyone uses forum speak LOL!.

AF is forum speak for aunt flow(your period)

Welcome Heaf

How is everyone coping? : Hey Heaf, sorry to see you here,...

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 17:31:21 +0000

Author: snugglebug
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�October�2011 at 5:31pm

Hey Heaf, sorry to see you here, but glad you are seeking support.

With the some days are better than others thing, some days I feel like I don't have depression at all and others I feel like the worst ever, so I think that's normal, and it's why I held off on getting treatment. I think if you feel in yourself there might be a problem, it's worth looking at your options or having a chat with your doctor

How is everyone coping? : Hey escada, I get miffed with...

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 16:18:49 +0000

Author: sierra34
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�October�2011 at 4:18pm

Hey escada, I get miffed with friends every now & then too, I think they just get really busy so get incommunicado! I hope you are being clear with the ones that don't visit, that your petrol is low or whateve and would love a friend to visit.

I think you've been doing so well. What is AF arriving? lol not too up on this language lol

DOes anyone know what is meant to be really good for PMT, I take flaxseed oil but so get grumpy and tired before that time of month.

How is everyone coping? : hi all. pretty sure i belong here...

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 12:45:15 +0000

Author: heaf3
Subject: 36210
Posted: 08�October�2011 at 12:45pm

hi all. pretty sure i belong here though no official diagnosis, and some days are better than others which makes me think maybe i don't have it.

anyways just thought i would pop my head in and introduce myself - i'm heather, mum to holly whos almost 5 months. already know a few of you in here

oh and CONGRATS bridie!!!!!! thats a good way to brighten my day!

How is everyone coping? : Feeling a little better this evening....

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 21:35:55 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 07�October�2011 at 9:35pm

Feeling a little better this evening. I think the fact the sun made an appearance helped a lot. As did going to visit a friend and having Annabelle occupied by visiting her good friend Eddie. Eddie and Annabelle are great buddies. It's cute as

Plus, got my monthly child support, so having a little bit of money in the bank as relieved some tension. Though her lovely dad(sarcasm btw) only pays $59 a month. It helps.

My friend used to work for IRD and she looked at whether I'm getting the right amount from IRD for FTC(family tax credit) or whatever it is called and we discovered, I had it saying DP was doing 30 hrs or less since Annabelle was born, so we've been missing out on an extra $60 a week! For like 20 months! So hopefully the extra amount will start next week and at the end of the next financial year we'll get paid back what we've missed out on. Love my friend for being so helpful! She was only looking at my entitlement because I was saying, I wish I could have another baby, but I just can't afford to. And she was seeing how much extra IRD would give us if we had another. So it would be a bit more affordable. But I think I'd need to go back to work if I wanted to get UTD and get some money behind us.

I think AF arriving has made me feel a little more relaxed too, as it makes my crazy emotions feel a little more normal and I feel like I have an explanation for being so fragile.

I do know though, I tend to get depressed when we have bills we can't pay and lack of money. And this crap weather has so not been helping! I really need sunlight to keep happy!

How is everyone coping? : Yeah, I do try get into new PIN...

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 21:26:48 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 07�October�2011 at 9:26pm

Yeah, I do try get into new PIN groups. It's just hard in my area. Most mummies have gone back to walk by the time their babies turn into toddlers. Yeah been going to church too. So hopefully I'll make connections there. It's just been hard to get out and about. Petrol has been rather low this week.

Sophie does Brownies, but parents don't stick around. They drop off the kids and then pick them up. LOL! I kind of do that too. I appreciate the little break I get while she is there.

How is everyone coping? : I just gave Cale his first real...

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 14:06:07 +0000

Author: girly_girl
Subject: 36210
Posted: 07�October�2011 at 2:06pm

I just gave Cale his first real haircut! OMG I have a little boy!! My teeny wee bubba has well and truly grown up. Been out with MIL and had a HUGE spend up at JK and PP and feel much better for a bit of retail therapy. I'm a bit cabin bound with this silly injury and that has never done good things to my brain.

Babe - that's so awesome hun!!! Low risk, WOW!! Our plan is to conceive at some stage next year (most likely later next year) once I'm off the venlafaxine. I'm down to 2 a day from 3, but need to do it slowly.

Escadachic - I'm sorry to hear that honey, maybe through plunket? church? Does Sophie do any extra-curricular activities? Maybe mums through there?

How is everyone coping? : Babe wrote:Kelly thats sucks...

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 22:14:52 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 06�October�2011 at 10:14pm

Babe wrote:

Kelly thats sucks hun!! Maybe get involved in something else to meet more people who might actual make more of an effort??

Well I keep attempting to meet new people through meet ups on here. But it seems a certain member who keeps hassling me in the meet up threads is putting people off joining.

How is everyone coping? : Thanks chicky we've kept...

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 21:03:00 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 36210
Posted: 06�October�2011 at 9:03pm

Thanks chicky we've kept it quiet til we had a 9wk scan and saw baby still there
Hope its abit of an encouragement to you guys who are struggling with the idea of another one - your babies really are small and you'd be surprised what a change another year will make!! It was such a nightmare after Jake was born but I'm now considered low-risk for PND and I'm onto #3 so y'know you can get past this place

Kelly thats sucks hun!! Maybe get involved in something else to meet more people who might actual make more of an effort??

How is everyone coping? : OMG, congratulations Babe!! That's...

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 14:25:56 +0000

Author: girly_girl
Subject: 36210
Posted: 06�October�2011 at 2:25pm

OMG, congratulations Babe!! That's awesome news! Not sure how I missed that one lol.

WG - I hear you, everyone around me seems to be having babies and I'm feeling incredibly jealous and those old feelings of not being good enough are starting to creep back in. I mean, I want another baby and soon (35yo) but can't cos I have to come off this stoopid medication first. So frustrating.

Its only added to by having injured my ankle really badly (they suspect tendons - hopefully they haven't torn off the bone like they think they have), so no exercise, no driving, just 4 walls closing in on me...gah!! Am over all the bad stuff that just seems to keep happening.

Hugs Escadachic - I get that too, and its not fair.

How is everyone coping? : I'm having a bit of a crap...

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 13:32:16 +0000

Author: escadachic
Subject: 36210
Posted: 06�October�2011 at 1:32pm

I'm having a bit of a crap times with my moods and emotions lately. For like the last 3 wks. I don't think the lack of sun is helping. So over crap.

So over always going to my friends and them never coming to me.

I think I deserve that back, considering I look out for my friends and visit them. It's my time of need now, so I'm annoyed they aren't coming to see me.

How is everyone coping? : I think a slightly bigger age...

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 12:07:00 +0000

Author: Babe
Subject: 36210
Posted: 06�October�2011 at 12:07pm

I think a slightly bigger age gap is awesome WJ. Theres 2y8m between DS1 & DS2 and there'll be a 2y2m age gap between DS2 & Baby and TBH I wouldn't go any smaller than that. I remember feeling the same way as you as DS1 got older and worrying about it abit but the kids get along really great and I get to enjoy each one of them. People seem to be having their kids closer together alot more these days (or maybe its just coz I see it on these forums) but I like to think that I'm savouring my kids while they're small instead of rushing through like a mad person and missing out on the little stuff. Plus by taking my time I'm able to refine things. If I'd had a second child earlier the only thing that would have happened is I would have looked back and been sadder that TWO kids had to deal with my 'baggage'. As it is I was in a good place when we conceived DS2 and it made me a better parent to both of them. This might be getting abit muddley lol sorry!!

Hugs about everything else too!! Hope the little fella and you both get through the chickenpox with your sanity intact x

How is everyone coping? : My bubba has chicken pox :( so...

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 11:03:28 +0000

Author: snugglebug
Subject: 36210
Posted: 06�October�2011 at 11:03am

My bubba has chicken pox :( so lots of screaming and tears and emotional turmoil. Hopefully I can stay strong through it.

Im doing ok, thinking about dropping from 2 pills down to one, and then weaning off over the summer when DH is home to support me. Which is huge as I didn't think Id ever want to get off them, but I think I have learnt enough now to manage my depression/anxiety without them.

One thing that still challenges me is the whole getting pregnant again thing. A lot of people around me who had babies near when I did are pregnant again, and I am really happy for them but I so don't want to have another baby right now, maybe not even for like 3 years or so. But then I keep thinking I must be abnormal cos all these people want to do it again so quickly, and that motherhood must not have been as enjoyable for me as it was for them- so I feel like a bit of a freak that it's been so tough, which I know is really dumb and irrational. I also feel guilty that my bub and any sibling might end up with quite a big age gap, but I Guess there are pros and cons on either side. Id like to go back to work for a bit before I have another, and we can't really afford another child right now, so these are all good reasons and yet I still feel bad about it somehow. Irrational I know.

Also, Im struggling with a bit of jealousy. Without going into it too much, there's some family members having a baby which is fine but it goes against my moral code the situation they are doing it in, so I struggle being happy for them and also its being made a huge deal of, far more than my pregnancy ever was, so I guess I feel a bit miffed/less important/less liked whatever. It's so petty and silly and yet I feel it anyway and every time I log into facebook it seems I see more written about it, just when I have become ok with it in my mind again. Im finding it hard to deal with, and I know Im gona have to eventually put on a face and be happy for them it's just really hard.

How is everyone coping? : LA - I take Cale to playcentre...

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:26:16 +0000

Author: girly_girl
Subject: 36210
Posted: 06�October�2011 at 7:26am

LA - I take Cale to playcentre and we have morning tea around 10.30am. All I do is give him his lunch then, and around 11.30ish I change him into some clean clothes (being a boy he gets ridiculously dirty lol) and give him a snack or a bottle then. If we are running late, I'll give him this step in the car on the way home. He usually sleeps between 2-3 hours after playcentre .

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