OHbaby! Forums : Decisions https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ Copyright (c) 2006-2013 Web Wiz Forums - All Rights Reserved. Thu, 09 Apr 2026 21:37:26 +0000 Fri, 01 Oct 2010 16:41:25 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 12.05 360 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=36015 <![CDATA[OHbaby! Forums]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_images/web_wiz_forums.png https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/ <![CDATA[Decisions : DF and I have been talking about...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1167091&title=decisions#1167091 Author: lil_lease
Subject: 36015
Posted: 01 October 2010 at 4:41pm

DF and I have been talking about different parenting decisions for a couple of years, just throwing things out there. I'm the one who has been researching different things like vaccinations and I actually asked him just before if he wanted to do his own research on it or whether he wanted me to do all the looking up and just share my thoughts with him. He said he's fine with whatever I decide as (over the past few days I've been regurgitating information at him) I've made some good points.

Things like circumcision were no-brainers with us as Df is intact and has no wishes to circumcise our (potential) boys.

Pretty much we talk things over unless it's something DF trusts my judgement on or he feels doesnt directly impact him even though I still ask for his opinion.]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 16:41:25 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1167091&title=decisions#1167091 <![CDATA[Decisions : monikah wrote:me and DH decide...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166995&title=decisions#1166995 Author: Babe
Subject: 36015
Posted: 01 October 2010 at 3:32pm

Originally posted by monikah monikah wrote:

me and DH decide everything together. we are the same though and pretty much agree on everything. it also depends on the other experiences you have. ... i probably get to pull the strings a wee bit more as i am the one who is around them more but he will always put his 10 cents in over things when they come up and we work it out 2getha

Same here. We have very different backgrounds and TBH mine probably shows up stronger in our family as we're extreme as far as his family is concerned but they are very buttoned up lol luckly for me DP is his familys wildcard I do generally lead on ideas but yep we're a good team.]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 15:32:33 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166995&title=decisions#1166995 <![CDATA[Decisions : Thankfully DH and I are pretty...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166880&title=decisions#1166880 Author: WestiesGirl
Subject: 36015
Posted: 01 October 2010 at 2:17pm

Thankfully DH and I are pretty much on the same wave length. We talk about it, I generally do the research if we need more info, then we make a decision together. Dh will sometimes do the research if its something he's better at, then we talk about it and make a decision together

Edited by WestiesGirl]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 14:17:39 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166880&title=decisions#1166880 <![CDATA[Decisions : Emmecat wrote: Flissty wrote: ...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166866&title=decisions#1166866 Author: mumtooboys
Subject: 36015
Posted: 01 October 2010 at 2:00pm

Originally posted by Emmecat Emmecat wrote:

Originally posted by Flissty Flissty wrote:

Originally posted by nicandtyler nicandtyler wrote:

basically it was me doing all the hard work lol and then explaining to DP which has worked well for us <IMG border=0 src="https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/smileys/smiley17.gif">


Ditto <IMG border=0 src="https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif">


same here lol



Us too.

Well when it came to the vaccination question anyway.    I did all the legwork, condensed it the best I could, gave him a chance to provide input and then TOLD him what we were doing!

Overall, I armed myself with knowledge, knew where to go to if it all turned pear shaped and took it from there. Some decisions, like the vaccination one is 'open' in that the decision we make now might change in the future if we feel it is warranted BUT bf was non-negotiable for me as was when baby would get weaned.

So if he hated that I wanted to bf he'd have to have gotten over it. PMSL He never mentioned anything about the fact that DS2 was still bf at 12, then 18 months so he was either being quietly supportive or wisely keeping his thoughts to himself! bahahahahahaha He was all for me bf, not sure he'd still be all for it if A hadn't weaned at 18.5 months though and was still going at just turned 3.]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 14:00:54 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166866&title=decisions#1166866 <![CDATA[Decisions : SMoody wrote:For us it has...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166850&title=decisions#1166850 Author: cuppatea
Subject: 36015
Posted: 01 October 2010 at 1:43pm

Originally posted by SMoody SMoody wrote:

For us it has been a continous conversation. It started before we got married when we discussed how many kids we would like to have and him saying he would want one of us to be a SAHP.

Then it just went from there. As things came up we just discuss it. It is more easier for me to sometimes research things more due to hubby working but there has been a few occasions that he sends me links or tell me things and we look into it further.


Yep this is most like us. I tend to make the day to day decisions because I'm with them during the day but the big stuff we talk about. So one of us staying home we discussed, discipline, then when the time came we discussed types of childcare and so on. I have done most of the deciding about food though, the oldest has allergies and I am also anal about preservatives etc. Dh calls me the food nazi but it's a title I'm proud of!

With the vaxxing, I hate to say it but I was in the you just do it cos the doc says, they wouldn't give it out if it wasn't safe, I had them it didn't hurt me, I wouldn't forgive myself if they got a disease that a vaccine could prevent club. Dh was the one who first brought up not doing them. I wasn't convinced (I was scared of not doing them, cos that is how we have all been programmed) but after he showed me some research, told me what the chiro and homeopathic doc he had talked to were saying I was convinced enough to at least go and look into it and then quite frankly I was horrified at what I found but I was still scared about not doing it. Originally we had planned to hold off until he was 2, but as we did more research over that time it's been decided that they will never have them done (not unless something majorly changes with regard to the vaccines themselves).


Circumcision we have never even talked about. DH isn't done and I would never contemplate having them done unless it was medically necessary so I guess with that one discussion wasn't needed.]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 13:43:09 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166850&title=decisions#1166850 <![CDATA[Decisions : Emmecat wrote: Flissty...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166736&title=decisions#1166736 Author: MamaT
Subject: 36015
Posted: 01 October 2010 at 11:59am

Originally posted by Emmecat Emmecat wrote:

Originally posted by Flissty Flissty wrote:

Originally posted by nicandtyler nicandtyler wrote:

basically it was me doing all the hard work lol and then explaining to DP which has worked well for us


Ditto

same here lol

 

And here

]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 11:59:43 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166736&title=decisions#1166736 <![CDATA[Decisions : me and DH decide everything together....]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166726&title=decisions#1166726 Author: monikah
Subject: 36015
Posted: 01 October 2010 at 11:50am

me and DH decide everything together. we are the same though and pretty much agree on everything. it also depends on the other experiences you have. we both know the same families and the same kids which is where a lot of our decsions in regards to TV and food and stuff comes from. i probably get to pull the strings a wee bit more as i am the one who is around them more but he will always put his 10 cents in over things when they come up and we work it out 2getha]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 11:50:07 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166726&title=decisions#1166726 <![CDATA[Decisions : The only thing we have really...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166466&title=decisions#1166466 Author: Mum_mum
Subject: 36015
Posted: 01 October 2010 at 8:39am

The only thing we have really dissagreed on is schools and we are not even ready for that yet!
I think its important to go to a decile school higher than 5-6 as they will have more resources, better teachers and better behaved kids that don't need so much disipline at school, DH thinks that it doesn't really matter, that lower decile schools have more cos they get more from the government and they have the same teachers.

guess we'll have to agree to disagree and after all I will be the one filling out the paperwork, so I will have final choice on the school ]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 08:39:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166466&title=decisions#1166466 <![CDATA[Decisions : Anything medical or health wise,...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166449&title=decisions#1166449 Author: JoJames
Subject: 36015
Posted: 01 October 2010 at 8:20am

Anything medical or health wise, DH defers to me (I've got a medical background) he trusts me to make the right decision there, I think he knows as long as I'm calm everything is good.
Everything else (parenting, sleep, discipline, feeding) DH has pretty strong feelings about, so we tend to discuss everything, and he's pretty clever.]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 08:20:24 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166449&title=decisions#1166449 <![CDATA[Decisions : Since I&#039;ve been there done...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166224&title=decisions#1166224 Author: Babykatnz
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 8:09pm

Since I've been there done that with DS and he's turned out ok, I think DP felt that i was able to make the important decisions based on my experience already. The only thing we dont agree on is circumcision, he is done, his mates hve had their boys done earlier this year, and after what DS went through prior to getting his done last week, he is insisting that if this one is a boy, it WILL get done. I disagree. I wont bother arguing the point until it becomes a necessity (i.e if we find out next month that baby is a boy)

Everything else he has been happy to let me make the decisions, and he gets to enjoy the 'fun' parts of being a dad, without the stress well, except for the days where she power chunders all over him

One thing we do disagree on occasionally is when to take DD to the doctor... any sign of something wrong, and hes suggesting i pack her up and rush to the doctor, but I can look at and listen to her and see if its just teething probs, or a slight sniffle etc, and not panic about it.... I have to remind myself that he is a first-time parent, so doesnt have the instinct we learn from the first time about when to do something, and when to not worry]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 20:09:56 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166224&title=decisions#1166224 <![CDATA[Decisions : I know how this is going to sound...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166218&title=decisions#1166218 Author: HoneybunsMa
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 8:09pm

I know how this is going to sound but I make majority of the decisions, I talk to (at for all he takes in) DP about what I think and he just says ok. He knows I'm the one that deals with her day to day and have the best interests in mind. I decided on vacc, I decided on the vit k inj, I decided on cloth, I decided I wasn't going back to work and that I would be studying. I have the time to do the research and its my time that will be taken up with whatever the choices we make are.]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 20:09:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166218&title=decisions#1166218 <![CDATA[Decisions : For us it has been a continous...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166202&title=decisions#1166202 Author: SMoody
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 7:52pm

For us it has been a continous conversation. It started before we got married when we discussed how many kids we would like to have and him saying he would want one of us to be a SAHP.

Then it just went from there. As things came up we just discuss it. It is more easier for me to sometimes research things more due to hubby working but there has been a few occasions that he sends me links or tell me things and we look into it further. ]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:52:16 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166202&title=decisions#1166202 <![CDATA[Decisions : For day to day care I guess it...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166197&title=decisions#1166197 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 7:48pm

For day to day care I guess it will be me at home and making the decisions.
On bigger things like daycare/education etc we'll make them together.

The other debating thread has got me thinking that this is our child not just mine and its for both of us to decide on how we raise her.]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:48:18 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166197&title=decisions#1166197 <![CDATA[Decisions : caliandjack wrote:Its been...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166193&title=decisions#1166193 Author: kiwisj
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 7:40pm

Originally posted by caliandjack caliandjack wrote:

Its been interesting so far as before I got preggers I don't think DH even really thought about some of these decisions, however he works with a number of fathers and has come home with some interesting ideas.


Same here. I'm pretty sure he filters out all the stuff he doesn't want to hear OR only tells me things to wind me up sometimes though.... the way the guys at DH's office talk you would think they got their wives pregnant and then washed their hands of all things baby/kid related V different culture (for the most part) but I do like that DH takes great pride in telling other guys that he changes nappies, plays with DS, takes him out on the weekends and has even looked after him solo for a weekend so I could go away ]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:40:46 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166193&title=decisions#1166193 <![CDATA[Decisions : kiwisj wrote: Emmecat wrote: ...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166187&title=decisions#1166187 Author: MyLilSquishy
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 7:35pm

Originally posted by kiwisj kiwisj wrote:

Originally posted by Emmecat Emmecat wrote:

Originally posted by Flissty Flissty wrote:

Originally posted by nicandtyler nicandtyler wrote:

basically it was me doing all the hard work lol and then explaining to DP which has worked well for us [:)


Ditto


same here lol



Us too!



yup same here. DP and i havent had a differing opinion yet anyway, but if we did we would discuss together, research etc.]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:35:03 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166187&title=decisions#1166187 <![CDATA[Decisions : So far our decisions have been...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166186&title=decisions#1166186 Author: caliandjack
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 7:31pm

So far our decisions have been around my pregnancy and we've for the most part made them together or I've decided in both of our interests.
ie: choosing a MW was my decision as I'm the one that needs to build the relationship

finding out the sex, DH wanted to know and I didn't mind so we found out

Home birth vs Hospital - DH was pretty strong on hospital birth and neither of us liked the idea of Home birth.

Its been interesting so far as before I got preggers I don't think DH even really thought about some of these decisions, however he works with a number of fathers and has come home with some interesting ideas. ]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:31:55 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166186&title=decisions#1166186 <![CDATA[Decisions : Emmecat wrote: Flissty wrote: ...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166178&title=decisions#1166178 Author: kiwisj
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 7:19pm

Originally posted by Emmecat Emmecat wrote:

Originally posted by Flissty Flissty wrote:

Originally posted by nicandtyler nicandtyler wrote:

basically it was me doing all the hard work lol and then explaining to DP which has worked well for us <IMG border=0 src="https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/smileys/smiley17.gif">


Ditto <IMG border=0 src="https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif">


same here lol



Us too!

We tend to be on the same wavelength about most things too. The one thing we didn't initially agree on was leaving DS's foreskin intact. DH is circumcised and thought that we'd just do DS so he "looked the same." Ahhhh no thank you! So that took a wee bit of talking and showing him info and stuff Didn't take too much convincing though.

Edited by kiwisj]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:19:40 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166178&title=decisions#1166178 <![CDATA[Decisions : I have already decided not to...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166176&title=decisions#1166176 Author: Mucky_Tiger
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 7:18pm

I have already decided not to vacinnatte (we are not even TTC yet though)
but DP reckons vax's are so important.
im going to have my work cut out convincing him.
but im hoping that with pointing out i was allergic as a kid that i dont want to do that to my kids]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:18:35 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166176&title=decisions#1166176 <![CDATA[Decisions : Flissty wrote: nicandtyler...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166166&title=decisions#1166166 Author: Emmecat
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 7:05pm

Originally posted by Flissty Flissty wrote:

Originally posted by nicandtyler nicandtyler wrote:

basically it was me doing all the hard work lol and then explaining to DP which has worked well for us


Ditto

same here lol

]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:05:32 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166166&title=decisions#1166166 <![CDATA[Decisions : I&#039;m a solo mama so all desicions/research...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166142&title=decisions#1166142 Author: Whateversville
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 6:35pm

I'm a solo mama so all desicions/research was done by me Except DS's name. His Godmother picked that ]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 18:35:23 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166142&title=decisions#1166142 <![CDATA[Decisions : nicandtyler wrote:basically...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166139&title=decisions#1166139 Author: fire_engine
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 6:31pm

Originally posted by nicandtyler nicandtyler wrote:

basically it was me doing all the hard work lol and then explaining to DP which has worked well for us


Ditto ]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 18:31:37 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166139&title=decisions#1166139 <![CDATA[Decisions : Most of our big decisions were...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166137&title=decisions#1166137 Author: nicandtyler
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 6:30pm

Most of our big decisions were made through talking about them mainly when they came up, with not vaccinating I was the one who researched it as DP said he didn't mind but then I sat down with him and stated all my reasons for the decision and he was happy with that. As for circumcision that was an agreed no from the beginning, and with us we co-sleep which was also something DP didnt actually have an opinion on as such, but I still talked to him about it so that I knew he was happy with that decision. So yea basically it was me doing all the hard work lol and then explaining to DP which has worked well for us ]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 18:30:27 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166137&title=decisions#1166137 <![CDATA[Decisions : I consider myself very lucky that...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166136&title=decisions#1166136 Author: Delli
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 6:29pm

I consider myself very lucky that DP and I are very much on the same wavelength. Anything we had differing opinions on, we discussed and we have always come to a compromise or conclusion that worked for both of us. We both have areas of expertise but even with those - we still each have an input on what goes.]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 18:29:19 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166136&title=decisions#1166136 <![CDATA[Decisions : After reading the debate thread...]]> https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166131&title=decisions#1166131 Author: sbeach
Subject: 36015
Posted: 30 September 2010 at 6:15pm

After reading the debate thread earlier I realized there is even more things DH and I need to decide on...

What I'd like to know is how were the big decisions made for your family? Like to vaccinate or not ?(whatever the decision is)...did your DH/DP have an opinion?? do the research/read the research?? or just go with what you suggested/wanted??

just curious...

Edited by sandie]]> Thu, 30 Sep 2010 18:15:00 +0000 https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=36015&PID=1166131&title=decisions#1166131