21 months learning to sleep solo!

My little man is 21 months and has found sending himself to sleep extremely difficult since day dot. My husband and I have struggled with insane night wakings his entire life, and found the easiest way for us all to get to sleep is for him to sleep in our bed which he's still doing. I'm sure that will change eventually, and am happy to work with it at night time. It's the day time that's a problem!

We have another baby coming, and I need for him to go to his bed and get himself to sleep as it can take me up to an hour to "read him down". He will get himself into a complete tizz if left alone, and then not sleep at all which simply doesn't help. I'm intent on working with him rather than forcing him to do what I want/need (!). If you have a similar approach, and have dealt with anything remotely similar in a gentle and collaborative way, I'd LOVE to hear from you!!!!

Thanks.

I found two things really helped with getting DS to settle well by himself:

A consistent routine and bedtime - this has been the same (with some age appropriate adjustments) from about 9 weeks. Now he is just over two, he knows exactly what to expect and when. He is also always in bed by 7pm. The main thing for him is that bed is a nice place to be and it's ok to be there by himself.

A toy that he takes to bed with him - he's had it from 4 months, has a special name for it and uses it to self settle. The books that Linzy suggested both have great ideas for introducing a good routine that works for you and a comforter.

Good luck!